CHAPTER – 9

                                             Reality hit Pallavi. Being in a different country, away from the media glare gave them time to spend with each other. And after the accident, his care, his full time attention made all her defences weak; all rational thoughts to take a back seat. The softness in his eyes when he gazed at her a while ago made her yearn for more selfishly.

 But once we leave tomorrow, we are going back to the real world, where Pallavi is nothing to Pranav and Pranav ….can be nothing to Pallavi!

Pranav did gauge her expression, he knew had to do some explanation. But once again Janaki’s call got their attention. Without a word, Pallavi walked into the washroom.

How could I!

Suddenly she felt so cheap. She wanted to scream, cry aloud. The guilt enveloping her is suffocating her.

                                                   ***********

She slowly washed her tears away and came out with a straight face. He is waiting for her. She avoided eye contact and started packing. He understood she is trying to act nonchalant about what happened between them.

“Pallavi”

“It's almost 3 am. You should go and pack. We will be leaving in an hour”

She started to move past him to the cupboard but he pulled her back and made her face him.

“Don't try to pretend everything is okay; for your kind information you are failing at it”

The next second, she snatched her hand from his hold.

“Stay away from me Pranav”

Her face reflected anger and disgust. But she is not sure if it’s directed at him or her own self. Pranav gets pissed at her resistance. He lurched forward and held her shoulders in a firm grip. She started squirming in his hold but he didn't budge. When she continued to struggle he tried to get her attention.

“Pallavi....Pallavi listen...”

She continued struggling to get his arms off and that escalated his anger.

“Just listen damn it. We need to talk”

For a second she moved back in fright. But then her anger got the better of her. She pushed him so hard that he was taken aback.

“We need to talk?  About what, the kiss that happened some minutes ago? Then listen, it didn't mean anything to me. It was just a MISTAKE!”

Anger and fear struck his head. He held her again, but this time in a vice-like grip. But she didn't push or pull out. She just stood there facing him with an ice-cold stare.

He asked in a dangerous whisper, “What did you say?”

“You are a married man and what just happened is a mistake; which we both shouldn't hold on to anymore” she concluded in a neutral tone.

He could not handle her indifference and in the urge to hurt her blurted out something which he shouldn’t have.

“Oh yeah? So does it happen often with you? Every other co-star of yours come and kiss you and you take it as a fleeting moment?”

That did it for her.

“Just stop this Pranav. I can’t believe you think so low of me. I hate you. Did you hear me, I HATE YOU”.

He left her arms as if it burned him.

“I feel so cheap now for worshiping you all these years. You are not worth it”

Her words pierced his heart. He moved back and whispered in a hollow voice.

“Do you really mean it Pallavi?”

She felt her eyes sting with tears. But she held onto the last shreds of sanity and whispered in a blank voice.

“What happened before cannot happen again; I’m not like those girls who fall for you at the drop of a hat. Don’t treat me like a piece of meat”

“Is that what you think about me”, his voice came out hard but controlled.

“You have a wife at home and if this is what you are doing behind her back...then I really don’t know what to make of you!”

After that Dev didn’t try to explain. Pallavi saw him transforming into his infamous cold avatar. But she didn’t let her resolve weaken. She had to distance herself from him; and she realized hate is the best emotion for that!  

“It will be better if we don't cross our paths again. I don't wish to see your face ever again.”

She could feel her heart breaking into pieces; she couldn't believe she said all that to him! Neither could he! In that moment, she knew her feelings for him and so did he. But it held no value anymore, it was too late.

 He stared at her for infinity with hurt clearly writ in his eyes. But she did not see it. She was not facing him anymore. A while later when she turned, she was alone in the room surrounded by her half-packed bags. She slid down onto the floor as the tears made its way down once again. She drew her legs close to her chest and buried her face in her lap bursting into sobs.

                                                     ***************

Months later...

Pranav gulped down his 7th peg. He is in his farm house on the outskirts of Mumbai.

The promotions and other events of the film did bring Pranav and Pallavi together but she remained professional all through and when it got too much for her, she adjusted herself out of the schedules citing other film shoot reasons.

 Pranav didn’t pursue her and maintained his distance respecting her wish. But he couldn’t deal with what’s happening in his life. Janaki’s check up reports had come in negative and if they wanted a child together they have to head for treatments which she insists on. But he couldn’t get his thoughts away from Pallavi. He was confused what to do ahead. He even considered talking to Janaki but couldn’t do that without getting a positive sign from Pallavi. It’ll just complicate things, he knew.

Viren found him on the lawn bench lost in thoughts and heavily drunk. Viren came and sat on the same bench. He opened the bottle and made a drink for himself dropping ice cubes in it. Pranav didn't move an inch. He didn't bother him as well. He made the drink and started sipping it slowly.

“It’s Pallavi, isn't it?”

He didn't reply and Viren got his answer.

“You want her”

“I NEED her”

“Just checking if you are in denial mode”

“I don't want to deny it”

“But she wants to and that’s bothering you!”

Anger, hurt, guilt and confusion is gnawing his insides. He let it all out to Viren.

“She said it was a bloody mistake. She considers it a fleeting moment; a fleeting mistake, My Foot. We both know it is more than that.”

“She is being practical and you are not”

He shrugged.

“Have you thought about the consequences?”

Pranav stood up and turned away facing into the dark.

“It’s not like no one has done it. There are people who have seen through this”

“Yes, but they have paid the price too, in one way or the other”

“If one is getting what he wants, then it doesn’t matter”

“You won't be affected much Pranav. But she will have to pay a big price if she goes ahead with this. Already there are talks about your soft corner for her”.

“To hell with gossip Viren; what is between me...and her... is all that matters”

“And what about Janaki?”

Pranav didn’t have a response to that.

“Your one decision can change the lives of two women. Janaki is not at fault but she’ll pay with her life too. She is your wife; she deserves your love and respect Pranav, not anyone else. And Pallavi, she has realized this already. Her personal and professional life and Janaki’s life will be ruined if she acts on whim. If she doesn’t want to make a compromise for your sake, then you should let her be as well. It’s her right”.

Pranav turned away not wishing to hear any further.

“She has a bright future ahead; don't spoil it by your selfishness. Let her go buddy, let her live her dreams and...Janaki needs you”.

He retired to the lawn bench and made his next peg. Pranav closed his eyes and her words came back again.

I HATE YOU.

His face contorted in pain.

STAY AWAY FROM ME

His hand around the glass tightened.

I DON'T WISH TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN

He threw the glass enraged and it shattered into pieces.

Viren gazed at his stiff back. He knew what his decision is going to be and he also knew what it will do to his friend!

Once broken......!!!!

CHAPTER – 8

          Within a week the shoot got complete and Viren arranged for a wrap up party.

“Attention guys. This party is to celebrate a good news as well as a bad news”.

Pallavi twitched her eyebrows while Pranav looked least bothered.

“Well yes, the good news is the completion of my first film as you all guessed and the bad news is that our Pallavi escaping death, shattering all our hopes of getting away from her constant blabbering forever”.

Pallavi had her mouth wide open in shock while others laughed.

“VIREN!!!!”

“Easy, easy.... girlfriend, jokes apart this party is as much for you as it is for the film. C'mon dear we opted Chinese cuisine just for your sake. So thank you for staying in our lives to torture us and...”

Before he could complete his words, she started whacking his head. Everybody laughed out loud, even Pranav couldn’t help a smirk.

                                                    ************

The party ended around 11 at night. All are heading back to hotel. Their flight back to India is early morning but Pranav is not in the mood to hit bed; he had plans.  Something made him ask Pallavi if she would like to join him; maybe because he’s aware their moments together are coming to an end.

 Pallavi knew he loved roaming around in foreign countries where he is not easily recognized and even enjoyed shopping. She readily agreed, wanting to spend some more time with him. They visited some night attractions the city offered and indulged in some shopping. Since it’s a short distance back to their hotel and the alley is decorated tastefully for Christmas, they decided to go by foot, enjoying it. They indulged in small talk while walking on the snow covered footpath.

“Why do you love shopping? It isn’t a thing one would associate with you!”

Pranav just shrugged his shoulders.

“What interests you about shopping?”

He did not answer that question immediately but felt like he is collecting his thoughts.

“My mother used to take me whenever she went for shopping. She was a shopaholic”

Pallavi smiled.

“After her death, I used to miss those shopping spree in my life. One day I was walking through some street of New York, I just shopped a little and it felt like she is beside me. Then it became a habit. I can't do this freely in India. So whenever I come abroad I take time for it”.

Pranav did not have many happy memories with his parents but he realized he did cherish the ones he had with them. She saw the stress lines on his face and decided to change the topic.

“King, you know what is coming to my mind when we are walking like this? Your debut movie 'Intezaar'; in it there is a scene where you walk through such a snowy street with Actress Soumya and you just kiss her out of the blue. Haayyee that is the first kiss I ever saw. You know, initially I didn't understand what is happening. Apparently I watched it when I was 11. So naturally I didn't understand. But my sister told me that is a kiss”.

Pranav looked on dumbfounded. But oblivious to his thoughts she continued with her rant. When she saw that he had stopped walking she turned and questioned him naughtily.

“You are too slow. Need help with the bags? Already an old man huh?”

Obviously he got miffed by it.

“What?”

She giggled and took a step towards him. But suddenly she slipped on the snow glazed pavement. But Pranav caught her on time.

Time stood still for them. Pranav had his arms wound around her waist and his eyes were lost in hers. Both didn't know for how long they stood like that. Pallavi's fringe is dancing with the wind on her cheek. He moved his hand to her cheek and pinned it behind her ears. Slowly his eyes moved towards her lips and she felt her breathe hitching. His eyes pierced into hers. A car passed by and the sudden force of the wind that came with it brought them out of their reverie. Immediately she moved out of his arms. She was flustered; he clueless. An awkward silence crept in. Their mind and heart were pulling them into different directions. Just then she realized they were close to their hotel.

“Let's go”

She walked as fast as she can. He followed her silently. They entered the hotel and went straight to the elevator. There were 2 other foreigners in the elevator. The sexual tension between them is taking a toll on her sanity. They got down on their floor and she made way to her suite. She entered, but couldn’t stop herself from turning back. She is taken aback when she found him standing just behind her at the door with a very strange expression writ on his face. She went numb.

He slowly moved towards her and she moved backward. The magical pull they felt towards each other didn’t allow them to hold back. Pallavi hit the wall behind her. He stared at her lips. She feels strange sensations within her. She didn’t want to pull up defences and pretend. She knew it is wrong, but she wanted this moment as badly as him.

He slowly cupped her left cheek and ran his thumb over the blush on her right cheek, Pallavi shivered; they didn't break their eye lock.  Dev inched towards her lips, their breaths mingled and he whispered huskily "Pallavi".

 She saw the desire lazed in his eyes and knew very well the same desire is mirroring in hers. She closed her eyes surrendering herself to him. Getting her approval Pranav covered her mouth with his.

His lips smooched her very gently first. But soon the kiss turned into a sensual one. He ran his tongue along her lower lip and she sighed. He took the opportunity and sucked on her lips greedily. He bit her lip and she gasped in his mouth. He drove his tongue in tasting every inch of her. Their kiss grew more and more hungry. He couldn't get enough of her. Whereas Pallavi is feeling numb; she didn’t know what to feel. It didn’t seem like those kisses she had seen and read of, it felt weird to her. Yet she couldn’t resist the feelings it was rising in her.

The shrill ring of Pranav's cell phone ended their beautiful moment and inevitably brought them to senses. He checked her face to read her thoughts but she is looking anywhere but at him. He wanted to talk to her, so disconnected the call. But when he lifted the phone she saw Janaki’s name on display.

Pallavi froze.                                                      

CHAPTER – 7

               Laxmi had to fly back since Nisha was close to her delivery date. Pallavi is better now but was advised bed rest for two weeks. Laxmi returned to India entrusting her with Sharanya.

Viren made sure Pallavi’s accident didn’t affect the shoot. He convinced the production house and handling matters regarding it and tried to finish the scenes which did not require her presence.

Two weeks passed and she joined back for shoot. Only two scenes and a song were left to be shot. Owing to the delay, shoot was progressing fast. In between this, Sharanya had an emergency at home and had to fly down to India. Pranav made sure he was with Pallavi whenever she needed though she tried to assure him she’s fine.

                                                   *************

After a tiring day of shoot, they were back to hotel. Pranav escorted her to her room. Pallavi offered him dinner and hence they ordered room service and ate from her room. Since she had a slight fever that day, he touched her forehead to assess it. Satisfied that the temperature is reducing, he plans to go back to his room when Pallavi spontaneously asks him to spend some time with her since she feels bored. He agreed and both of them decided to watch a movie together. He was loading a film on his laptop while her eyes were only on him.

Pranav is with her 24x7 these days. She did not know what to make of it. For sure she is enjoying all his pampering and care but she knew it isn’t a right feeling to have. She was having conflicted feelings which she didn’t want to address.

It’s a phase. Once we’re back to India and to other movies and have less time together, it’ll get better.

 He selected a blockbuster hit of his which he knew she loved. Pallavi’s whole attention shifted to the film while he enjoyed her expressions and reactions to his film. They discussed the film in between and had arguments over it. He loved to listen to her passionate arguments when it comes to cinema. They had a good time together. While his phone on the side table continuously rang in silent mode with Janaki’s call.

                                                     *************

Their shoot was almost getting concluded. Only a song is left. They finished dining at a restaurant close by and are walking back to their hotel. When he saw a Starbucks outlet he went to get some coffee for them. That’s when Pallavi saw a walkway beside a lakeshore. There were benches provided on the sides and she settled on one of them taking in the view of the lake. He joined her and hands her the coffee.

They sit in a comfortable silence sipping their coffee and minds reeling in a lot of memories - Their first meeting at the cemetery, Pranav supporting her on her first day of shoot, making her comfortable during intimate scenes, saving her from Shyam Nadir at public events, winning awards together, the blatant eye locks at her sister’s reception, her accident....Both of them stare into each other's eyes.

I don’t know why, the fear of losing you is making me insane.

They continued gazing in each others’ eyes carving this moment into their memory forever.

                                              *****************

Pranav hugs Pallavi from behind, who is dressed in a purple gown and her silky hair flying. The final song shoot is going on.

She moves forward from his hug with a flirty smile while he follows her trail, singing the lyrics. He doesn't allow her to walk a lot. He holds her soon and turns her to him and they face each other. Viren yells a "CUT".

They are sitting with jackets covering them and sipping hot coffee to keep up with the cold atmosphere. Viren is setting up for the next shot. Shooting progresses without any further hitch.

 They enjoyed their time together forgetting everything else for the time being. Pallavi’s accident paved way for them to spend time with each other and also to know each other deeply. Though her leg is now perfectly alright Pranav makes sure she doesn't take strain and demand choreographers for light dance steps .There were few murmurs amidst the set but he couldn’t care less.

 One day he saw Pallavi’s face crunched with pain as she is getting down the stairs and approaches her hastily. But she stops him and jumps down the stairs giggling while he rolls his eyes. She was mocking his pampering but he didn’t mind and smiled at her antics.

Something is brewing between them and they are well aware of it. But they decided to go with the flow without questions because they know all of it is temporary. It’s time to say goodbye.