CHAPTER – 10

                                                

It is a bright Sunday morning, Gauri and her mother is en-route to market for weekend purchases. They were waiting for signal to turn green, when suddenly a car coming at high speed banged into their scooty from behind. The man behind the wheel was talking on phone and didn’t notice the signal. At the impact of the bang, Gauri and her mom lost balance and got thrown to sides while their scooty skied away.

Her mother hit her head on the ground and got her hands scrapped. Gauri had her helmet on, so though she hit her head, she is saved from injuries. But she lost her consciousness in shock. Her leg seems to have injured badly and her churidar is by now soaked in blood. Her mother started screaming seeing her unconscious and soon enough people gathered around them. The man who caused the accident is apologizing profusely and tried to help them into his car. People who gathered around aided him though they are hurling abuses at him.

Gauri’s mother tried calling her husband but his mobile is switched off and the land phone went unanswered. It seems like he took Chikku for a walk through the colony in their absence. She didn’t know what to do and is terrified beyond limits. She soon dialled Madhav’s number.

“Hello”

“Madhav...Madhav...Gauri...”

She started crying and Madhav got tensed. He had still not woken up since it is a Sunday. But seeing it is a call from Gauri, he took the call. But hearing her mother’s frantic voice, he became alert.

“Amma...what happened? Why are you crying? Where is Gauri?”

“Madhav....Gauri met with an accident. I’m not getting your father-in-law on phone. I’m scared, she is still not conscious and I’m alone here. Please can you come?”

“Don’t worry. I’m on my way. I’ll try to get through Papa. You please hold yourself up. I’ll be there in 5 minutes”.

He got the name of the hospital they were heading to and kept the call. He couldn’t keep a straight head after that. Barely taking time to dress he rushed out taking his car keys. As said he was there in hospital within minutes. He got through Gauri’s father while driving and informed him to head to hospital with Chikku. He rushed to the causality session and saw Gauri’s mother getting her wounds tended.

“Amma, where is Gauri?”

“She is in observation room”

“Is she hurt?”

“Doctor said her leg is fractured. She hasn’t gained consciousness; that’s why they have kept her in observation I think”

“How did this happen?”

“We were waiting for the signal, a car suddenly banged into us. He was coming in full speed and on phone, hence didn’t see the red signal.”

Madhav gritted his teeth.

“And where is that man?”

“He left after admitting us here”

“What? How can he leave like that? Did you note the car number?”

“No”

He ran his hand through the hair in frustration.

“Ok, you get your wounds dressed. I’ll go and see the doctor. Papa is on his way”

She nodded still trembling slightly from the accident. The unexpected incident scared her and she still seems reeling from it. He headed for the observation room but couldn’t enter inside. So he asked the nurse for the doctor’s cabin.

Doctor assured him Gauri is fine. Her left leg is fractured and it might take a month or two before it is back to action. And she has got some scratches on her body which will heal with time. Doctor explained that she lost consciousness because of shock. They have kept her in observation just to make sure there are no other complications. He thanked doctor and left his cabin assured.

Gauri’s father reached by then and her mother is weeping in her husband’s arms now. A sense of relief has washed over her face, he noticed. Chikku saw her father and ran into his arms crying. He held his daughter close to his heart and tried to stop the moisture in his eyes. He is also shaken from inside at the unexpected turn of events. Chikku is asking for her mother and he tried to soothe her with words.

He conveyed what the doctor said and asked his in laws to relax. When it was lunch time, he got coffee for them when they refused to have food. Then he took his daughter to the hospital canteen to buy her lunch. She was tired after all the crying. After making sure she is fed well, he asked them to leave for home with Chikku. But they refused since Gauri is still not awake.

“It is due to the sedatives. It will take time for her to wake up. Amma looks tired. It is better she goes home and get rest”.

Her mother was luckily saved from major injuries. She just had two stitches on head and some scratches on her hands which is already dressed. She looked weak. After a lot of convincing from Madhav, they left with Chikku who was getting cranky in the hospital atmosphere. Madhav promised to inform them when Gauri wakes up.

“I’m here”

That kind of convinced her parents and they left. Madhav eased into a chair in the corridor before the observation room and closed his eyes. Last hew hours changed the radar of his life once again. The fear and agony he went through from the moment he heard about Gauri’s accident has shook his core. The feelings he thought to have evaporated, resurfaced with double the force. He is again going back to the old lane of life which he himself took leave of.

Gauri and Madhav was a normal happy couple two years ago. Problems arose after he got promoted and his work life started demanding more time and energy from him. Same was the case with Gauri. Soon after delivery she went back to work and they got too busy in their lives handling work, home and parenthood. All of a sudden their life turned mechanical which went in a cyclic pattern of home-office-kid. Their professional life and parental life took precedence and Madhav found himself frustrated by all the responsibilities that came his way. Gauri too felt it but like most women, the mother in her took charge and she pushed back everything else. She forgot to be a wife or herself in this entire hullabaloo.

They forgot ‘romance’ in their relationship and life fell into a pattern. Work life tapped into him to a large extent and when he is back home, he couldn’t find it in him to indulge his wife or kid as he would like to. Initially Gauri took it in stride, understanding the work pressure but when she found him not making an effort to focus on their personal life she reacted. And that brought about differences of opinion in their lives. Madhav never responded to her arguments and often gave her silent treatment which agitated her even more. Suddenly she felt like he has lost interest in her and their life. To her it appeared as if he is ignoring her. It added to her insecurities of not looking beautiful as a result of the maternity weight.  

But there are two sides to each story. When Madhav got bogged down with the heavy duties of a family and professional life, he expected Gauri to be by his side to see through it all. He wanted his wife’s attention, romance, time and efforts solely for him. But Gauri, like most women, transformed from a wife to a mother and her daughter became the centre of her life. She got busy in handling her work life and her daughter that she forgot to give equal time and attention to her husband. Now, if we are to read it from her perspective, maybe she will also have the same complaint that she expected Madhav to be by her side while she handled the new role in life.

But the truth is, neither of them actually tried to talk it out. Lack of communication, misunderstandings, and insecurities led to distance in the relationship. Madhav got fed up of this routine life which consisted of work pressure, groceries, bills to be paid, loans and insurances, working wife who is fully focused on her baby; to such an extent that one day he asked for a break from everything. That left Gauri shocked and hurt. She sought out reasons for this decision and her bruised heart couldn’t accept any that Madhav put forth. She just saw them as excuses and tagged it as escapism. Uncaring words and ignorance led them to the pinnacle of a divorce in no time.

Their parents tried to intervene and sort out matters but Madhav could not bring himself to take a stand. He did realise major fault lay in him, his insecurity and his lack of will to hold his family together led to this downfall. He in fact felt ashamed that he often felt jealous of his daughter for having her mother’s attention and felt he is a bad parent to have such feelings. Counselling sessions that are part of divorce proceedings did help in making him realise that all these feelings are natural and withdrawal is not the right path ahead. But he felt he failed as a husband and a father. It started affecting his career as well.

In all this, he again came to a wrong conclusion that Gauri deserved better. He felt she deserved a better chance at life with someone who would understand and appreciate her. But no matter what, the love and concern remained intact between them. And it became all the more evident to him after this accident. He realised what he was going to lose and desperately wanted to make amends. And so, in that hospital corridor, he finally found clarity.

But what will Gauri’s response/decision be?!

                                                         **************

Though their reasons to lead to a divorce might sound silly, these are very common reasons for splits and distances in most marriages. Some overcome it through maturity by handing their responsibilities and reviving romance again and again amidst it. But some choose escapism or use it as an excuse to have other indulgences in life like alcohol, affairs, serials, social media and gossips. They maintain the relationship but it will never be the same again. In short, most marriages fall into the category of convenience, compromise and adjustments from these root reasons.

It takes a smart couple to handle it the right way, and mind you, its two people effort any day. No matter how hard one of them tries to work the relationship clock, they will never find success without the constant cooperation and will of the other partner. Married life is a long journey which can never be saturated without two people giving it their all!

Hence it didn’t come as a surprise when Gauri decided to give their marriage one more shot. Yes, Madhav and Gauri might have faltered slightly in their steps but they loved and cherished their relationship enough to repair it off its shortcomings. While her parents found this accident to be a blessing in disguise at the new turn of events and felt happy, her friends rejoiced at this news too. They had seen how Gauri tried to hide her pain and act nonchalant with regard to her divorce in past, but they couldn’t help questioning her decision to make sure she’s in the right frame of mind while at it.

“You’re sure right? Not taking any decision under the influence of emotions na?”

“Yes. Hmm, I can’t deny, I’m influenced by my emotions but not blinded to the practicality as well”.

Esther smiled in relief knowing that Gauri is taking this step with precision. All her friends were present when she is packing up to leave for her husband’s home. Tej and Thara are on conference call while Aaradhya and Azmia is having a Skype session with the group. Anjali as usual couldn’t make it, but she did convey her happiness through phone yesterday. This time, Thara refrained from giving any opinion, she just supported the conversation and it didn’t go unnoticed by her friends. But the atmosphere is filled with happiness that it didn’t jinx the situation.

“Well, I’m happy for you. But I just want you to be considerate of your feelings as well. It should not be a decision made for Chikku alone. That will be a big mistake you do to yourself”.

“No Jo, Chikku is definitely one of the factors that compelled me to take this decision. But it’s as much a decision for me as it is for her. From the moment of our separation this is what I waited for; I want, what we had, once again”.

“I seriously don’t understand what is so special in marriages when half the time it’s dipped in problems and compromises”.

“Well you’ll get to know when you get married Tej” Gauri giggled.

“I hope you both live up to this second chance Gauri. My best wishes”, Aaradhya and Azmia wished her via skype.

“Oh don’t worry, if the second chance didn’t work out, she’ll definitely keep giving him third and fourth chances until infinity”.

The sarcastic comment came from none other than Joanna. But Gauri had a befitting reply.

“No Jo, I didn’t give HIM a second chance, but to US. And I did not give it being a fool in love but because I genuinely believe we deserve this chance. But a third chance is not going to happen. We will make or break with this second chance”.

“Bravo. Go for it girl. You’re gonna rock this second innings”.

Gauri smiled at their encouragement. It’s not that she doesn’t value self-respect or her ego is not big enough, like Joanna suggested by her sarcasm; but she values what she has got and is not keen to lose it. But that doesn’t make her a ‘weak’ woman or ‘anti-feminist’.  She did make him walk up and down her doorstep for a week before finally agreeing to give their marriage another round to play out. Also she couldn’t overlook the mistakes she made too. Any day it takes two to tango. But this time she will make sure the two tangos to a happier phase.

 Rectifying mistakes, asking forgiveness, forgiving and moving on doesn’t lessen your self-respect but gives a new direction to live the same life again in a different way. Also it’s a good lesson in today’s generation when solution to every marital trouble is divorce.

But again we cannot glorify or underplay Gauri’s decision. It is ultimately a personal choice and as long as it works for her, it is worth it. Let’s hope Gauri finds what she is seeking. 

CHAPTER – 9

                                           

Azmia has settled down well after 3 months into her stay in Dubai. Her scores are impressive at the academy and her confidence and brilliance is fetching her appreciation at work. New friends, hard earned savings, knowledge and experience of first hand – she couldn’t ask for more in her social and professional life. She isn’t devoid of male attention as well since she landed here. There are interesting men around her, but she is still reluctant to venture into that arena. In her own words, she first needs to build a strong identity for herself; which has the power to overshadow her past reality, before she acknowledge a man’s advances again in life.

She visits Aaradhya during weekends regularly, but her purpose of visit is to have a gala time with her children and also to relish the homemade delicacies made by Dharam, than to catch up with her friend. At times she found herself going green with envy seeing the life Aaradhya has. Her life is so ‘picture-perfect’. She has everything a woman would desire for – a family to die for and a job to live for! But her fleeting envy didn’t blind her to the chinks in Aaradhya’s life as well!

Working at her company, Azmia did get a glimpse into the busy body life that Aaradhya has to live on a daily basis. The challenges, competition, pressure on one hand, and the success, power and money on the other. Azmia was privy of all the social work her NGO churned out and how much involved Aaradhya was in all of it. But at the other end of the scale, she saw that Aaradhya’s professional life in many ways overshadows her personal life. She could hardly be there for her kids and husband. But still the catch is Dharam, who happily manages the balance in their family. He never lets the kids feel that their mother is absent for long hours from their life nor does he whine over the lost hours with his wife because of her career. He is going about it normally; just like a homemaker would. The masculine and feminine roles in a family are interchanged between them and the fact that he is ‘okay’ with it surprises Azmia.  She couldn’t help but admire Dharam for his uniqueness. But that could not be said about all the other pairs of eyes that look at their family.

                                         **********************

As usual, Azmia is at Aaradhya’s pad for the weekend, but this time there is an extra reason for her presence. It is Dharam and Aaradhya’s wedding anniversary and she is helping with the arrangements. Aaradhya’s mother could not make it to the event as she is tied up with work at India. Dharam’s parents are no more and his only brother is settled in Australia. So only some of their close friends were invited.

Due to unavoidable circumstances at work, Aaradhya had to attend office today and she couldn’t relieve herself as soon as she expected. Due to a last minute video conference with a client in US, she had no choice but to be absent for her own party leaving Dharam to be the recipient of amusing glances and snide remarks from gossipy wives of his friends.

Most of them could not help but point out that it is his lack of a proper job, that let’s Aaradhya mistreat him and some couldn’t turn a blind eye to Aaradhya’s over ambitiousness. Their wagging tongues didn’t tire from the numerous discussions they had about women who are ambitious to the extent of putting their family on the back burner. Some even advised him point blank, to warn Aaradhya to set her priorities straight, after all family comes first. While his friends were ashamed of their wives’ nosiness, he silenced them all with reassuring smile and sweet words.

Though her blood boiled at some of their catty comments, Azmia held herself in check from creating a scene. But she couldn’t help but feel hurt for Dharam. She feared that someday these same comments might take a toll on her friend’s married life.

                                           ****************

                                      

The party is over and guests have left, Aaradhya is still not home. Azmia helped Dharam clean up and put the kids to sleep. After she was done with the kids, she joined him with cold coffees for them. She couldn’t stop herself from querying if he’s fine. He looked surprised and expressed it in his words as well. Initially, Azmia struggled to word her thoughts, but then she asked him directly how he feels about his lifestyle and the comments passed at it by his acquaintances. He understood where her question is coming from and decided to answer it in his own way.

“I guess you know that Aaru was never this ambitious, career oriented woman. Her dream and aim was to be a homemaker, a mother and a free spirit; to be able to fly like a kite, but with no string holding onto her”.

“Yes. And that’s exactly why I’m surprised by the change that has come over her. This is not the lifestyle she dreamt of”.

“Exactly, yet today she is living this life because of me”

“I don’t understand”

“Hmm, I had lost job when recession hit Dubai and suddenly our life went for a toss. I was born and brought up here and never wanted to retire to India. I started hunting for job, but that was not an easy task in the recession atmosphere. And back then the only option before us to stay back was Aaru’s father’s business. I couldn’t take it up due to some legal hassles; hence Aaru had to step in. And she did remarkably well. Her father was happy seeing her taking in the reigns of his dream establishment. He died seeing her managing it efficiently. She got involved in the NGO works as well. It gave me enough margins to find a footing. I didn’t want to get trapped in low grade jobs owing to the situation and she supported me through and through. Soon I realised its best to do something of my own and hence I took up the course that I always wanted to acquire. While I did a diploma in Graphic Designing, set up myself as a freelancer, she was working hard to sustain our lives here. Aaru who never wanted to settle in a foreign country, who never wanted to be a working woman did all of it for my sake. While in the process, she found her passion in it. And now though the phase of necessity is over, I won’t deter her from her passion. I cannot do that to her”.

Azmia is now getting a clear picture of the struggles they had to go through before finding this concrete platform of their lives.

“She once selflessly gave up her dream life for my happiness; how can I be selfish enough to ask more from her. Do you really think I will fell prey to all those crap they said a while ago? Never!”

“What crap did they say today? The same old tune eh?”

They turned back to the voice of Aaradhya.

“You’re late than usual. Meet was successful?”

“Yup, cracked the deal”

He pulled her into his arms not caring about Azmia’s presence.

“Wow that calls for celebration”

“Hmm, but I spoiled today’s celebration”

“Oh you still have time to make it up to your husband wifey!”

He winked conveying his innuendo clearly while Aaradhya blushed at his words. Azmia couldn’t help a smile at the scene before her.

“Hey have some shame dear husband. My friend is watching us”

“Oh she definitely doesn’t mind. Do you Azmi?”

“Not at all, but seriously get a room guys. Have mercy on this poor soul, I’m single”

They all laughed at that and after a few words Aaradhya and Dharam retired for the night while Azmia turned her gaze to the starlit sky. She felt happy and also hopeful.

Nice people exist in this world; who are above egos, selfishness, norms and rule-books of the society. And they are happy too! A good thing to know!

CHAPTER – 8

Joanna and Satya had fallen in love during their college days. They had met at an inter-college fest and had been at the opposite ends of a debate competition. In between the competition they found their eyes going back to their opponent far too often. And by the end of the day they had exchanged numbers. It was a killer attraction between them and soon they were madly in love. It was a celebrated love story among their friends as well. Apparently Joanna was the only one with a love story to tell among her friends; so quite naturally Satya-Joanna inter-caste love was the stuff her rosy eyed friends looked up to at that age.

But lot of water has gone under the bridge and today even these once-upon-a-time-love-birds are at the brink of a separation. Her parents hadn’t approved her choice due to their different religions, but then had given in because they knew how steadfast their daughter is on her decision; also they loved her enough to spoil her. So now after few years when she decided to end her marriage they were as helpless as they were 5 years ago. They tried to make her understand that she should shed her ego and compromise for her child just like they did all their life. But Joanna had a fitting reply to that.

“It’s because of the compromises you guys made for my happiness that has landed me in this soup. Maybe if you two had been sensible parents then my life would have been better. I don’t want to repeat the same mistake with my son”.

That indeed left them speechless. But her friends had advises to offer as well. Her parents requested them to put some brains into their daughter’s head. They did so religiously but her friends were divided in their opinion. While Anjali strictly told her to forgive her husband for her kid’s sake, Esther asked her to first check if matters can be resolved before pulling the final trigger; whereas Tejaswi completely supported her decision. She lauded Joanna for standing up for her self-respect. She argued for Joanna with her other friends – what else should a woman do when she find her husband is nothing but a jerk who has the audacity to cheat on his wife after fathering a child with her?!

But not many of Joanna’s friends could completely agree to this logic because for them a child was involved in this mess and hence cut and right logic doesn’t work. Also Satya was ready to make compromises for the sake of his child. Gauri too advised Joanna to give it a second try if Satya is willing to do it for their son Thara, Aaradhya and Azmia understood Joanna’s perspective but they had mixed feelings about her decision.

“I have loved him for 9 years of my life. I have fought my parents, their dreams for me, to be with him. Yes I agree, after two years into marriage the love between us had started to dwindle. We fought too often; the debate competitions changed its venue to our home. That’s when Joshua was born. We did try for his sake. We started to pretend to love each other hoping that some day we will find the balance once again in our relationship. But the truth is the pretence became the total essence of our relationship. I realised it only when I found out about another woman’s presence in his life”.

Gauri, Thara and Esther were with her at her home and Aaradhya and Azmia were on Face Time with her. They avoided Anjali and Tejaswi for this meet since they knew both could go overboard with their opinions which will spoil their effort to convince Joanna to rethink.

“How did you get to know about this?”

“I was suspicious for a long time now. I had indirectly confronted him as well. But he brushed it off as my insecurities. For a while I went with that explanation, but deep down I knew it was a matter of time before I come face to face with the truth. And that I did and it ended my relationship for ever. Somewhere I think I was waiting for his truth to surface to leave him. I had enough”.

She took a sip of her coffee completely unfazed by all this while her friends sighed wondering how to handle this matter.

“But he apologised to you and promised to not repeat it. In fact he has apparently told both families that he is ready to end that affair. I’m not justifying him but at least he is trying to mend his ways. And you know at the end of the day he is a good father. So maybe for your child, shouldn’t you also give it one more chance?”

“Azmi, I’m a woman before a mother. My self-respect is more important to me than anything else. Just because I’m a mother, should I forget what my husband did to me? How is it fair? What if the tables turned and tomorrow I have an extramarital affair and later I apologise just like he has done now. Will he accept me back for Joshua? Will these same families that are pestering me to go back to my husband advise the same to him?”

“Hmm”

“And like you all expect of me, I can’t forgive him for my child’s sake,; I did it for a while, but now with his truth before my eyes I can’t do anymore”.

“It’s your ego, not self-respect that is hindering you to go back”

“If that’s how you perceive it, I have nothing to say Gauri. You can judge me all you want. I don’t care”.

“Look if you are being so adamant, then nothing will get solved here”

“I don’t want to solve anything Aaru. I never asked anyone to solve issues between me and Satya. For me, that chapter has ENDED. Why can’t you guys just accept it?”

“But marriages don’t end like that Jo. Especially when you have a kid in common, whatever you decide is going to reflect on the child’s future”.

Joanna rolled her eyes at Esther.

“It’s better Joshua grows up seeing reality than the artificiality that exists in most marriages.  Divorced parents are hundred percent a better guide than parents who stay under one roof and fight all day and night. That will be more delusional for a kid to watch when he grows up”.  

“Your child is not even 3 years old. He is too young to be caught in this tug of war between you and Satya. You both are pushing him into a messy life ahead. We are not asking you to forgive Satya; you can take a lifetime for that or maybe never forgive him. But why does Joshua also have to bear the punishment. What is his fault?”

“Really Thara, you are advising me this? When you have done the same with your child? Your problem was with Maheshwar, yet your child is also paying for your egos. What about that? Before trying to advise me on right and wrong, first take a look at yourself in the mirror”.

Thara was stunned to silence; so were the others since they knew Joanna’s anger has got the better of her and Thara is deeply affected by what she said.

“That’s it guys. I’m leaving”

“Thara....Thara don’t go”

She didn’t listen to Gauri calling out to her and just barged out of the room and the house.

“Now look what you have done!”

“What? People should really think before pointing fingers. I just showed her the mirror. It’s easy to point fingers but hard to accept a finger raised at you”.

“Ok leave Thara out of this. We are talking about you. All we are asking you to do is to rethink on your decision, at least for your parents and Joshua”.

“Aaru I have decided that I’m putting an end to all artificiality in my life, both in professional and personal spheres of my life. So no one needs to convince me for anything. I have decided......hereon I’m a freeeeeeee bird. Now, I’m going to live my life, for myself. I always did that but marriage did hinder my individuality for some time. Not anymore”.

She saw that her friends were not exactly in agreement to her.

 “Guys you can love me or hate me or ignore me. Judge me all you want.......but trust me I don’t care!!!!!”

They had nothing more to say to Joanna after that.

                                           *******************

Thara was waiting for her bus but she was deeply disturbed by Joanna’s words.

Why should I get angry on her? She is right. I have done the same to my son, then how can I point her wrong for doing the same?

But she couldn’t let go of the uneasy feeling within her. She hesitated for a second before dialling the number. But she wanted to talk to her son. She dialled her in-laws residence number. After few rings the call got connected and her mother-in-law answered the phone.

“Hello”

Thara didn’t know what she should say. She somehow gathered her nerves and uttered the next line.

“I want to talk to my son”

Her mother-in-law realised who was on the other end and for sure her voice changed its tone.

“Wrong number”

“Mumma please.....I know you are angry.....but ....I just want to hear his voice. Please give him the phone”.

“Huh....so much desperation to hear his voice? Has the motherly feelings finally awakened?”

“Mumma please”

“Stop calling me that. You have lost that right”

“Ok.....but please I want to talk to my son”

“He isn’t interested to talk to a selfish mother”

“He is too young to decide that. Who knows when he realises what happened after he grows up, he might respect his mother’s decision or not?”

Ignoring what she said, her mother-in-law asked her a straightforward question.

“Have you decided to withdraw the divorce?”

She sighed.

“Your son wants this divorce not me”

“Because his wife is not interested in a life with him......has your priorities changed?”

“No”

“Call again when it gets changed. I hope it won’t be too late because regret is the hardest thing to live by Thara. I hope you will soon realise it”.

With that she cut the call. Thara knew it is futile trying to call again. They wouldn’t let her talk to her son. She sighed and wiped the corner of her moist eyes. A bus came and stopped before her and she silently walked inside and sat on the available seat with a drawn face.

No matter what happens.......life has to move on......and it always does!