CHAPTER – 8

Joanna and Satya had fallen in love during their college days. They had met at an inter-college fest and had been at the opposite ends of a debate competition. In between the competition they found their eyes going back to their opponent far too often. And by the end of the day they had exchanged numbers. It was a killer attraction between them and soon they were madly in love. It was a celebrated love story among their friends as well. Apparently Joanna was the only one with a love story to tell among her friends; so quite naturally Satya-Joanna inter-caste love was the stuff her rosy eyed friends looked up to at that age.

But lot of water has gone under the bridge and today even these once-upon-a-time-love-birds are at the brink of a separation. Her parents hadn’t approved her choice due to their different religions, but then had given in because they knew how steadfast their daughter is on her decision; also they loved her enough to spoil her. So now after few years when she decided to end her marriage they were as helpless as they were 5 years ago. They tried to make her understand that she should shed her ego and compromise for her child just like they did all their life. But Joanna had a fitting reply to that.

“It’s because of the compromises you guys made for my happiness that has landed me in this soup. Maybe if you two had been sensible parents then my life would have been better. I don’t want to repeat the same mistake with my son”.

That indeed left them speechless. But her friends had advises to offer as well. Her parents requested them to put some brains into their daughter’s head. They did so religiously but her friends were divided in their opinion. While Anjali strictly told her to forgive her husband for her kid’s sake, Esther asked her to first check if matters can be resolved before pulling the final trigger; whereas Tejaswi completely supported her decision. She lauded Joanna for standing up for her self-respect. She argued for Joanna with her other friends – what else should a woman do when she find her husband is nothing but a jerk who has the audacity to cheat on his wife after fathering a child with her?!

But not many of Joanna’s friends could completely agree to this logic because for them a child was involved in this mess and hence cut and right logic doesn’t work. Also Satya was ready to make compromises for the sake of his child. Gauri too advised Joanna to give it a second try if Satya is willing to do it for their son Thara, Aaradhya and Azmia understood Joanna’s perspective but they had mixed feelings about her decision.

“I have loved him for 9 years of my life. I have fought my parents, their dreams for me, to be with him. Yes I agree, after two years into marriage the love between us had started to dwindle. We fought too often; the debate competitions changed its venue to our home. That’s when Joshua was born. We did try for his sake. We started to pretend to love each other hoping that some day we will find the balance once again in our relationship. But the truth is the pretence became the total essence of our relationship. I realised it only when I found out about another woman’s presence in his life”.

Gauri, Thara and Esther were with her at her home and Aaradhya and Azmia were on Face Time with her. They avoided Anjali and Tejaswi for this meet since they knew both could go overboard with their opinions which will spoil their effort to convince Joanna to rethink.

“How did you get to know about this?”

“I was suspicious for a long time now. I had indirectly confronted him as well. But he brushed it off as my insecurities. For a while I went with that explanation, but deep down I knew it was a matter of time before I come face to face with the truth. And that I did and it ended my relationship for ever. Somewhere I think I was waiting for his truth to surface to leave him. I had enough”.

She took a sip of her coffee completely unfazed by all this while her friends sighed wondering how to handle this matter.

“But he apologised to you and promised to not repeat it. In fact he has apparently told both families that he is ready to end that affair. I’m not justifying him but at least he is trying to mend his ways. And you know at the end of the day he is a good father. So maybe for your child, shouldn’t you also give it one more chance?”

“Azmi, I’m a woman before a mother. My self-respect is more important to me than anything else. Just because I’m a mother, should I forget what my husband did to me? How is it fair? What if the tables turned and tomorrow I have an extramarital affair and later I apologise just like he has done now. Will he accept me back for Joshua? Will these same families that are pestering me to go back to my husband advise the same to him?”

“Hmm”

“And like you all expect of me, I can’t forgive him for my child’s sake,; I did it for a while, but now with his truth before my eyes I can’t do anymore”.

“It’s your ego, not self-respect that is hindering you to go back”

“If that’s how you perceive it, I have nothing to say Gauri. You can judge me all you want. I don’t care”.

“Look if you are being so adamant, then nothing will get solved here”

“I don’t want to solve anything Aaru. I never asked anyone to solve issues between me and Satya. For me, that chapter has ENDED. Why can’t you guys just accept it?”

“But marriages don’t end like that Jo. Especially when you have a kid in common, whatever you decide is going to reflect on the child’s future”.

Joanna rolled her eyes at Esther.

“It’s better Joshua grows up seeing reality than the artificiality that exists in most marriages.  Divorced parents are hundred percent a better guide than parents who stay under one roof and fight all day and night. That will be more delusional for a kid to watch when he grows up”.  

“Your child is not even 3 years old. He is too young to be caught in this tug of war between you and Satya. You both are pushing him into a messy life ahead. We are not asking you to forgive Satya; you can take a lifetime for that or maybe never forgive him. But why does Joshua also have to bear the punishment. What is his fault?”

“Really Thara, you are advising me this? When you have done the same with your child? Your problem was with Maheshwar, yet your child is also paying for your egos. What about that? Before trying to advise me on right and wrong, first take a look at yourself in the mirror”.

Thara was stunned to silence; so were the others since they knew Joanna’s anger has got the better of her and Thara is deeply affected by what she said.

“That’s it guys. I’m leaving”

“Thara....Thara don’t go”

She didn’t listen to Gauri calling out to her and just barged out of the room and the house.

“Now look what you have done!”

“What? People should really think before pointing fingers. I just showed her the mirror. It’s easy to point fingers but hard to accept a finger raised at you”.

“Ok leave Thara out of this. We are talking about you. All we are asking you to do is to rethink on your decision, at least for your parents and Joshua”.

“Aaru I have decided that I’m putting an end to all artificiality in my life, both in professional and personal spheres of my life. So no one needs to convince me for anything. I have decided......hereon I’m a freeeeeeee bird. Now, I’m going to live my life, for myself. I always did that but marriage did hinder my individuality for some time. Not anymore”.

She saw that her friends were not exactly in agreement to her.

 “Guys you can love me or hate me or ignore me. Judge me all you want.......but trust me I don’t care!!!!!”

They had nothing more to say to Joanna after that.

                                           *******************

Thara was waiting for her bus but she was deeply disturbed by Joanna’s words.

Why should I get angry on her? She is right. I have done the same to my son, then how can I point her wrong for doing the same?

But she couldn’t let go of the uneasy feeling within her. She hesitated for a second before dialling the number. But she wanted to talk to her son. She dialled her in-laws residence number. After few rings the call got connected and her mother-in-law answered the phone.

“Hello”

Thara didn’t know what she should say. She somehow gathered her nerves and uttered the next line.

“I want to talk to my son”

Her mother-in-law realised who was on the other end and for sure her voice changed its tone.

“Wrong number”

“Mumma please.....I know you are angry.....but ....I just want to hear his voice. Please give him the phone”.

“Huh....so much desperation to hear his voice? Has the motherly feelings finally awakened?”

“Mumma please”

“Stop calling me that. You have lost that right”

“Ok.....but please I want to talk to my son”

“He isn’t interested to talk to a selfish mother”

“He is too young to decide that. Who knows when he realises what happened after he grows up, he might respect his mother’s decision or not?”

Ignoring what she said, her mother-in-law asked her a straightforward question.

“Have you decided to withdraw the divorce?”

She sighed.

“Your son wants this divorce not me”

“Because his wife is not interested in a life with him......has your priorities changed?”

“No”

“Call again when it gets changed. I hope it won’t be too late because regret is the hardest thing to live by Thara. I hope you will soon realise it”.

With that she cut the call. Thara knew it is futile trying to call again. They wouldn’t let her talk to her son. She sighed and wiped the corner of her moist eyes. A bus came and stopped before her and she silently walked inside and sat on the available seat with a drawn face.

No matter what happens.......life has to move on......and it always does!