CHAPTER – 5

Gauri was lying in bed with her eyes wide open; the clock beside her showed 11.10 pm.  She busies herself in work and with her daughter all day long, but at night when she lies awake in bed, all the chinks in her armour pops up. Sleeping pills and her daughter’s form hugging her to sleep sometimes help, but not always. Today seems to be such a day.

At times, she still could not believe what happened with her. Madhav was the best husband a girl could dream of. They had the perfect family life. With the arrival of Gadha, she had felt complete in all sense. She was content with her life and wanted nothing more in this lifetime.

Maybe, it wasn’t enough for Madhav. Maybe he wanted something more....which I fell short to give!

A lone tear made its way down from the corner of her eyes.

She comes from a middle class family. Her father owned a stationary shop and mother a housewife. So at 19, when a proposal from a well settled IT professional came for her, her parents didn’t have to contemplate. She was afraid of taking such a big step when she is so young, but she also knew her parents would only take decisions, for her benefit. So though this guy didn’t fit her imaginations and dreams, she silently gave in.

But never once had she regretted it not even at this stage of life. For her, it was not love at first sight. He was an average looking guy and all her friends felt that she deserved better. But he made up for all that by the care and affection he provided after marriage. He financially supported her education after their wedding. When after completing her post –graduation, she wanted to go for a different career; he suggested bank tests and to an extent coached her as well. He was always supportive and considerate.

But she fell in love with Madhav when she was pregnant with Gadha. He won her heart with the way he took care of her during her pregnancy. And the experience of being parents brought them close like never before. And with Gadha’s arrival, their life flourished even more. They were madly in love and happy in their own heaven.

Gauri wiped away another tear and sighed.

How did it all go wrong? Why did our perfect world end like this? What had I done to deserve this?

Just then she heard a sound outside. She got up and went out to check what the sound was; but the sight that greeted her eyes was nothing like she imagined.

All her friends were decorating the hall and setting up a cake on teapoy.

“What are you guys doing here?”

All of them looked up and saw Gauri. Next thing that happened was a collective “Ohhhhh Noooo!!!”

“Sorry Gauri, we wanted to give you a surprise. But didn’t think it will get spoiled like this”

“Surprise for what?”

“For your birthday”

Gauri had completely forgotten about her birthday.

“Guys, only 5 minutes to strike 12; it’s not too early”

Even before Gauri could react, all of them came and enveloped her in a hug screaming “Happy Birthday” in chorus.

Her mother smiled at the girls’ enthusiasm. Even before Gauri could react, her father came with a half awake Gadha in his arms. Even she got up to wish her mother.

“Happy birthday Amma”

As she took her baby into her arms who kissed her cheeks she was teary-eyed. But this time, it was tears of happiness. Soon they all dragged her to the hall and she cut the cake along with her daughter. Soon the cake was attacked and smeared on each other’s face. Laughter, balloons and incoherent talks filled the room as Gauri’s parents retired for the night taking Gadha with them. Her friends were staying over for the night. Only Anjali was missing who has promised to join next day as it’s a Sunday.

When they finally called it a day at 4 am and decided to sleep Gauri was genuinely happy and she was looking forward to the next day; a wonderful start to her 30th year.

                                          ***************

Anjali came at noon in time for lunch leaving her kids at her parent’s house. Ashok had the World Cup match on TV; so he was more than happy to have the house all to himself.

After lunch, Gauri’s parents went to have a nap along with Gadha leaving the friends alone in veranda to catch up. Topics varied with time and finally zeroed down on their careers.

Tejaswi talked about the challenges her career puts forth and the adrenaline rush she gets out of it. But she does admit that the pitfalls in the system she work in do lead to frustrations. But yes, when she is able to do something with the power she has, it makes it worth the hassle.

While Anjali has a different tune to sing; she hates her job at secretariat. She doesn’t share a good vibe with her colleagues nor is she appreciative of the corruption that prevails in her office. But externally she doesn’t show any of it. She laughs along their jokes and also accepts bribes.

“Hey lady, you are talking before a Sub-Inspector, be careful with confessions”

“It’s not that I want to do it. But if we have to raise children giving them good educational background and meet all the requirements of a decent lifestyle, then one cannot avoid these clichés of life. Or that’s what my husband believes. According to him government job is a license to accept bribes.”

“Hahahaha.....what a line you have come up with. Cheers!”

All others cheered with Joanna by crunching onto their pakoras.

“I love my job. In fact I don’t mind saying this that I love my job more than I love my Lois.”

All laughed at Esther’s blushing face.

“I’m being honest yaar. I think teaching is the best profession on this planet. Being amidst children all the time, listening to their unending doubts, handling their pranks – all of it entails fun. And not to forget, how crazy parents can get in the name of competition. Though it is tough to handle at times, it’s amusing. And valuing the answer sheets is the funniest aspect of it all. Remember what all we used to write, when we were clueless about some questions! Didn’t our teachers mention what a ball they used to have evaluating our papers! I’m experiencing the same now. But trust me when I say this, we were far better than what the kids write these days. It’s beyond hilarious at times”.

“Is teaching so much fun? I used to find all these things which you mentioned tiresome. That’s why I opted for an alternate career”.

“It is definitely better than your bank job Gauri. How do you enjoy it?”

“It’s not that I enjoy it. How do I explain? Hmm....I wasn’t exactly a fan of maths subject in the past. When I wanted a career other than teaching....Madhav suggested bank test.... I just went with it. It was just a job, not a career for me. I wanted to earn money on my own and this just fell into my lap. I didn’t know its value in my life until my life turned upside down. The fact that I’m self-reliant, I have a space and identity left to myself outside my personal life kind of helped in keeping me sane. So yes, today maybe I can say I do enjoy it a little bit in order to forget the void in my life. I must thank Madhav for it”.

For a moment, the mood turned solemn which again bounced back by Joanna’s declaration.

“I might quit my job soon”

The response was a collective, “WHAT?”

“I’m bored. I think it’s time to move on to something else”.

“But...why?”

“Media is equally corrupted as politics if not more. They are like two respectable entities of our society working hand in hand but...for their own benefit. There is a challenge, but at the end of the day there is a lot of artificiality as well. I don’t think I can handle it for long”.

“Of course, you were always this free flowing type. And your hubby is rich, so you can take such decisions”

“If my husband is rich, what has that got to do with me deciding to quit Anjali?”

Anjali always had a knack to say things in a wrong way which itch other people. So as soon as Esther saw the conversation taking an ugly turn, she immediately changed the direction of conversation to Aaradhya.

“Aaru has the best in everything among us. Well accomplished, won the Best Entrepreneur of the Year award thrice and to that package add a wonderful husband and cute kids. What more could one ask from life?”

“Hahaha....you make it sound so cheesy Eva. It wasn’t a cake walk like you think”

“But the irony is, you never wanted to get caught in any of it, yet here you are at the exact place you never wanted to be”

“True. I always had such high ambitions in life whereas Aaru always wanted to be a housewife. But see where life has landed us”.

Thara’s words got Aaradhya’s attention though others just laughed and moved on to other topics. There was some dullness in her eyes when she said that which Aaradhya definitely noticed. But she decided not to brooch that topic for now.

Gauri’s phone beeped a message and it was from none other than Madhav.

Madhav: Happy Birthday

Gauri did not know how to react to that message so she didn’t. She felt her friends’ needed her concentration now and she did exactly that.

The evening carried on with more banter, gossips and laughter till the sky bid farewell to sun.

PRECAP: Thara Maheshwar

CHAPTER – 4

                                               

With the elections two day ahead, Khaleel Khan was forced to accept Aaradhya’s deal. In exact 12 hours Azmia was out of the mental hospital and no media house even got a hint of it.

Aaradhya took her straight to Kochi. She wanted to take Azmia away from all this, as soon as possible. She had informed Tejaswi of the proceedings and she was indeed glad.

                                             ************

Azmia reached Kochi the same day with Aaradhya and stayed the night with her. Tejaswi came to meet her late evening. She was relieved to see Azmia back in all sense. Even though Tejaswi wouldn’t express it, she had this guilt with her that she supported Azmia to fight; even though she knew there was no chance of winning.

But Azmia still had a smile on her face. Yes she was exhausted and a bit lost after all the treatment she got at the hospital, but nothing could get rid of that smile! Somewhere she knew fighting against Khaleel will bring her to another round of torture; but she was glad it wasn’t under him and now, she is literally free off him.

Yes Khaleel Khan has signed the divorce papers which Aaradhya had ready with her and with some of the string pulling from her side; things would be official in few days time. Khaleel Khan held no more right on her. That thought gave Azmia, the feeling of freedom in all its true sense!

                                               ************

The next day was a Saturday and it opened with new promises for Azmia. When she came out of her room fresh after a bath, the sight that greeted her gave her a feeling of.....belonging, after a long time!

Their whole gang of friends were waiting for her to make an appearance and when she did; there was no stopping them. Anjali ran to her and hugged her fiercely breaking down into tears. Esther also hugged her murmuring complaints to her. Joanna, Gauri and Thara also enveloped her in a group hug smiling ear to ear. Aaradhya and Tejaswi stood in the background watching all the drama with a smile. In that one moment, Azmia felt she belonged; she had someone or rather a lot of people who still cared for her; for whom she mattered. And that brought tears to her eyes after a decade. She broke down and wept.

Aaradhya and Tejaswi was a bit shocked at first, since they had seen her so strong despite all the situations she went through. But then Aaradhya was glad that she finally reacted to her trauma. Neither she nor Tejaswi was the too emotional type and couldn’t give her that comfort and instead had given her space. But Anjali and Esther who were always the emotional ones of the lot did that for her. So in a way it was good that Azmia cried. That was a much needed process before she moves ahead.

                                              *************

Later in the afternoon after a pizza hour with friends, Azmia found them making plans for her future – that is what she should be doing next- work, marriage, complete her education, and go away from India etc. Tejaswi alone didn’t participate in the discussion. Azmia was happy to see the concern and love they were showering on her, but she knew she had to give a reply to them to put them at ease.

“Guys, actually it feels really good to see you all so concerned for my future. But to be honest, I haven’t thought about it yet. The thing is I didn’t get time to process it. I’m just back to life, or rather have a new beginning now and I seriously want to think well before I take any decision.”

“You are right. You sleep over all the options we provided and then tell us what you want to do. We are all ready to support”.

“What are you saying Gauri? You are going to wait for her to decide. Huh, we’ve already seen how she takes decisions. First giving up her life for her family without consulting anyone and then fighting against Khaleel khan! She doesn’t know how to take decisions; so it’s our duty to guide her in the proper direction”.

“Anjali, whatever decision she has taken, it’s her choice. Give her space. She will decide what she wants to do ahead and we will respect her decision”.

“Don’t you dare say anything Tej. She came to you for guidance and what did you do for her? I can’t wash my hands off my friend like that”.

“How dare you say something like that Anjali?”

“I mean what I said; you are the only person among us who is close to the legal system and its corruptions; yet you encouraged her to fight against Khaleel Khan. I may be the least intelligent among us, but even I know not to compete against people so powerful like him. You literally threw her into a lion’s den”.

“I have always been living in a lion’s den Anjali”

Anjali turned towards Azmia who spoke in a soft yet firm voice.

“It was my decision to fight. Tej did warn me of the consequences and the ultimate end we will reach but I decided to go ahead”

“But why, you could have just taken her help to get out of that marriage; out of courts. What if Jo didn’t get that video tape to blackmail Khaleel Khan? What if Aaru couldn’t strike a deal with that man with it? What then? You would never have been able to get out of that cell ever”

“I know Eva. But I wanted to somehow fight against him. 10 years of revenge was burning within me”

“Then you should have selected other methods to take revenge Azmi. To fight, first you need to stand on your own feet. You could have fought him in many other ways”.

“Thara is right Azmi. You can still do it. Fight him by living your life to the fullest; by being successful, by being all that you wanted to be. Now, you are free to do it”.

“Ok guys, now let’s change the topic. It’s Azmia’s life and let her take her decisions. We are here to guide her, but only if she wants it. Ok, so let’s just give her some time. Now who wants some tea? ”.

Aaradhya saw how Jo’s words has affected Azmia’s mind. It has got her thinking. She hoped Azmia will come out of this revenge mode and put all her frustration into building herself a new life which has no shadow of Khaleel Khan and her past. So she diverted others attention to tea giving Azmia the time to sink it all in. After that, all of them were busy catching up with each other’s lives and simply having fun together again.

                                        ****************

Gauri’s mother was noticing her daughter’s happy face. She was reciting her day out with old friends to her father and daughter. After a long time, her face was lit up and she was actually reflecting a little of her old self.

For the last few months, Gauri’s life had become monotonous. After the initial phase of depression she went back to work; but then it was just like falling into a routine to forget other things happening in her life. Colleagues and friends from work who knew about her personal life situation was more into sympathizing and showing extra concern than giving her that necessary break away from it. But today when she met up with her old friends, it was like she has once again come back from college and sharing her day which was full of fun.

Maybe, those kids can help my child come out of this phase and give her that strength and support even we are not able to give! She mused.

She hoped to have a talk with Joanna and ask them to spend more time with her to help her come out of her shell.

                                              ************

Saturday is a working day for Ashok, so Anjali usually take her kids and visit her parents that day until Ashok is back at 5. But today since she went to meet her friends, she was late. They were so involved in their talks that she didn’t see the time. And when she did, she actually panicked and was fretting to go soon. Though they made fun of her fretting, she finally got a lift from Esther. But by the time she was back at their apartment after collecting her kids from her parents’ home, it was past 6. Obviously Ashok burst out as soon as she walked in.

“Oh finally you made an appearance! Why, didn’t you want to spend the night there as well?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t notice the time”

“Yeah, when have you NEVER been careless? And when have you cared for me?

“Please don’t talk like that. Kids are watching”

“Oh so it is okay for you to behave like this, but me commenting on them is the problem. What about the example You are painting before our kids?"

She didn’t say anything and looked down.

“I work day and night for you and kids and when I’m back after a day of tiring work, what do I get? My wife is not there to receive me or give me a cup of tea. Huh, who cares right?”

“Look, I’m really sorry. I will just get the tea”

“No need. I’m going for my shower. I don’t want this fake concern now. Actually I’m the one to be blamed. I shouldn’t have given permission to meet your friends. I loosened up a bit and look what’s the result of it. Hmm”

Anjali’s eyes filled with tears and the kids looked on.

“Now don’t start with those tear works. Go and get me a tea fast”

She nodded and hurried towards the kitchen.

“And make sure the heater is on and towel is kept inside on time”

He went back to the TV shrugging his shoulders. While the tea boiled on the stove, Anjali slowly wiped her tears sighing to herself.

                                             ***************

At 11pm, Aaradhya was in the home theatre watching a movie when Azmia walked in.

“Hi, didn’t sleep yet?”

“No. Which movie are you watching?”

“DDLG”

Azmia smiled and Aaradhya knew why.

“Come-on now, don’t dare to judge me”

“No yaar. Everyone can have their own likes and choices. I’m just surprised that you haven’t changed a bit”

“Absolutely not and why would I when I like how I am”

Azmia smiled at that.

“You might be quite a handful for your husband. How does he manage you?”

“Haww! I don’t know why everyone keeps asking this question. Am I that difficult to live with?!”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you Aaru”

“Hey, I wasn’t serious. Actually he is a pro at handling me as well as our kids! He always says he has 4 children including me”

“He might be a good family man then”

“Yes”

Aaradhya gave a fond smile.

“I actually came to say that....I mean, I thought about what all of you said and maybe it’s time to move on from Khaleel Khan and make my own tomorrow!”

“Very good; so....what do you want to do?”

“I always wanted to be well educated and stand on my own feet. Even today......that is what I want”

“Well in that case, I can suggest few options for you”

“Hmm?”

“You can come with me to Dubai. You can do part time job as well as complete your education. You can rebuild your life there. Living in a different country, a new environment, will refresh you. Also you will be away from prying eyes and it will give you enough time to evolve as a person. And then when you complete your studies you can select the subsequent career and flourish in it.”

Azmia is trying to process it in her mind.

“You don’t need to hurry; take your time and decide”

To it, Azmia gave a nod. But her decision was already made.

Precap: Radhika’s b’day; will her friends make it special for her?  

CHAPTER – 3

Nedumbasherry Airport, Kochi

Aaradhya walked out of the terminal and saw Tejaswi waiting for her.

“Hi”

“Hi, flight got delayed a bit”

They hugged each other.

“So Tejaswi Ram is now transferred to Kochi”.

“Yup, punishment-transfer with immediate effect”.

“And Azmi?”

                                               ****************

Last one month was a roller coaster ride for Azmia and Tejaswi. The case was filed against Khaleel Khan; opposition used the scoop for their benefit by giving maximum media hype to the case. If they expected Khaleel Khan to hush up the matters; what happened next was just the opposite.

He sped up the process and the trial was called for in days under his influence. Azmia and Tejaswi knew this move from him meant danger and they were not wrong. At trial, he turned the tables against Azmia. He defended his stand by projecting Azmia as mentally challenged which proved her accusations as a psychic patient’s ramblings. He provided evidence of her treatment for the past few years. Also strong witnesses were called forth to the witness box in his favour, which included Azmia’s family members as well. Her mother and brother came to trial to testify against her.

Azmia knew her brother will never care about her. But her mother’s betrayal hurt her. Her mother still had two daughters who should get married; hence could not afford the luxury of Khaleel Khan’s enmity. That was the case in the past as well. Azmia was a bright student and wanted to complete her education and support her family. But her mother and relatives were against educating a girl child. If not for her father, she would not have survived in that house. But after her father’s sudden demise when she was 19, life turned upside down for her.

Her brother had taken a loan from Khaleel Khan’s finance company and was in no position to repay owing to his failed business. The situations led to Azmia becoming the fifth begum of the highly rich and older Khaleel Khan who was also an MLA at that point of time. It was a match that her family could never even dream of. With the alliance, their lives were settled once and for all. Hence they eagerly made her a scapegoat.

It was not like Azmia didn’t fight her fate. She is her Abba’s brave daughter. But in his absence there was little she could do. There was no one to support her stand. Her mother and brothers were hell bent on screwing her life for the better good. She even thought of running away or finding help from her teachers or her friend’s parents - anyone who could help her in that situation. But the fate destined for her will then befall on her 15 year old young sister. She knew her family wouldn’t mind playing with the lives of the daughters’ of the family. If she fled, that means her sister will have to adorn this role. Her sister Mumtaz, is a weakling and will not survive this entire situation. Hence she took this upon her shoulders intending to fight her fate.

But Khaleel Khan was a bigger opponent than she thought of. The physical abuse she could still bear. But the mental torture he put her through was deeper. Her rebellious nature just fanned his ego and he enjoyed torturing her. To add to it, her beauty was an obsession for him. She struggled to break free all these years. But she could not get out of his clutches no matter how hard she tried. If she fled then it meant her family’s doom. She didn’t care about her brothers and mother. But she wanted a safe life for her sisters; a life she never had. But soon she realised how wrong she was. Mumtaz got married to a nice guy from a good family and never turned back to her sister. Her younger sisters knew nothing of the sacrifice Azmia did for them. At one point, it all came back to her that the last decade of her life was utterly meaningless. Getting involved with a psycho man and serving unworthy people was what her life has come down to. That realization urged her to open the gate of her golden cage. And that has led once again to her doom.

The rest of the trial went as Khaleel Khan wanted. His high profile advocate and falsified evidence proved his ‘innocence’ before the law. He appealed for an immediate closure of the case owing to the campaign going on and the law didn’t have any reason to reject his plea. So the verdict came soon after, favouring Khaleel Khan. Azmia was sent to a government mental hospital for special care based on the judgement and Tejaswi Ram was rewarded with a punishment transfer for building a false case against a respected politician ‘without checking the facts’.

                                                    ************

“The order came the same day of the trial and I was moved here. I tried for leave but as expected it was denied”.

“Azmi is still in that place?”

“Hmm”

 “I’ve booked an appointment with Khaleel Khan”.

“What?”

“You heard me”

“Why?”

“Well, apparently our parents were friends. His father was an active member in my father’s NGO works”.

“What are you planning?”

“Let’s just have a talk with him and see”

“Do you think a talk with him will work?”

“I don’t know; nothing wrong in giving a try. What other alternative do we have?”

“Then I think I have the right thing for you”

“Huh?”

“Actually, Azmia got out of that house with the help of his youngest brother. He is very much attached to her. When he saw how his brother defamed her, he is now ready to fight for her. This is his confession”.

“Brilliant, how did you manage this?”

“Joanna. She is in town. It’s an exclusive she got for her channel; but she thought its best to sent this to me”

“And you are not taking it to your ‘law and justice’?”

“Hmm, I think this will gain us Azmia’s freedom outside the court more than inside it”

Aaradhya smiled seeing her friend giving up her rigid idealism for the sake of her friend.

“I think convincing Khaleel Khan is going to be easier now!”

“You bet!”

They shared a half smile despite the situations surrounding them.

                                                **************

                                                                                

The election was just two days later. The official campaign was over; yet Khaleel Khan was pulling all strings to make sure he will win this election. He was just back home from a party meeting when he was told Aaradhya Abhiram is waiting for him. 

Aaradhya reached Calicut by the late night train from Kochi and headed straight to Khaleel’s house. She had taken an appointment in advance to make sure she gets his time. She was here for almost an hour and his family especially his mother was courteous enough since they knew her from childhood. Khaleel walked in and the whole house went silent.

“Hello Aaradhya, long time. How are you?”

“I’m fine sir. How are you?”

“Well, elections are around the corner, so pretty busy. I’m sorry that I couldn’t give you a better time for an appointment”.

“No it’s ok sir”

“We’ll go to my study and talk. Amma, take her to my study. I will be there in 5 minutes”.

Aaradhya nodded and he left smiling. She was led to the front office room and as said he walked in 5 minutes later.

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting. Election is just 2 days ahead and there is a lot to be done".

“I know sir. You needn’t explain. By the way how did the campaign go?”

“Well let’s just say you are talking to the next home minster”.

He laughed when he saw Aaradhya’s raised eyebrows at his over confidence.

“I hope I’m allowed to be honest than modest with people close to me”.

Aaradhya gave a stiff smile to his response and broached the matter without delay.

“I’m here to talk about Azmia”

Suddenly there was a silence, a small break in their talk which Khaleel broke with a smile again.

“Which Azmia?”

Aaradhya didn’t let his conniving smile get to her.

“Your wife, who threatened your standing in society”

He sighed. Aaradhya was a social activist and he concluded that she is here to get Azmia to SEVA where she can flourish back to life. But he will not let that happen.

“So you heard about the controversy. It had been a little embarrassing; with the media hype and opposition using it as their trump card. But truth always wins and so I proved my innocence”.

He smiled in the most deceptive way and tried to divert the topic.

“How is your business and NGO work going? I’ve been hearing pretty good things about your recent services. I must say you have kept your father’s name”

 “Azmia is my best friend; we went to the same college” she stated ignoring his attempts to divert their conversation giving him the clear hint she is here to talk.

His smile faded and he wiped his face with one hand before resting it on the table.

“So?”

“Let me come straight to the point. By now you might have guessed I know the truth and I’m here for her. So why don’t we get down to business?”

“How is Aunty? Does she still have her arthritis complaint?”

Aaradhya understood he is not going to make this easy.

“Sir please, let’s talk”

“There is nothing to talk about. I’m tired. I think we can wind up”

He got up and the smile was back on his face.

“Sir listen...”

“Convey my regards to Aunty. I will meet her next time I’m in Dubai. Goodnight Aaradhya” saying so he walked towards the door only to be stopped by the confident firm voice of Aaradhya.

“Mr. Khaleel Khan I will not leave until we sit down and talk”.

He turned towards her with his hands folded before him.

“I’m not here to threaten you; but if you will understand only that language then I will be forced to do it”

“And what do you have to threaten me with” he asked with the smile intact.

But his smile went rigid when he saw Aaradhya smile.

“Now we are talking”    

She swiped the screen of her phone and showed the screen to Khaleel.

“Your brother Ajmal is very close to Azmia right?”

“What are you saying?”

“All your questions will be answered after watching this video”

She extended her phone to him. She saw his face showing true feelings for the first time. Anger was eating him up. Tejaswi had told her that he loved his brothers a lot and this act of his brother will hurt him.

“I don’t want to hurt you or your reputation. All I want is my friend’s freedom from you; Once...... and for all”.

“I heard it right........you have become a pro at deal making like your father”.

Aaradhya had a confident smile on her face.

“So do we have a deal here then?”

                                               

Note: I know this is a very short update. I’m quite busy these days and no matter how hard I try I’m not getting time to complete this update.

Now I will be gone for vacation for more than one month. So I wanted to update at least this much before I leave. If not it will be a huge gap. I will complete this update once I’m back from vacation and have real time and mood.

Forcing myself to write is not working; that’s why. Hope you guys understand.