CHAPTER - 26

2024

Two years passed without much change in their lives. Pranav and Janaki focused on making their son comfortable with the changes in his life. Pallavi concentrated on her career which gave her a confidence and enabled her to rebuild her life. But somewhere all three were getting bogged down by the loneliness; which has now become a permanent reality of their lives.

Pallavi did have pressure from her mother to pursue the idea of second marriage. But despite the loneliness she felt at times, with the absence of a companion to share her life with, she is not sure to venture into those lanes again. It has always ended disastrously for her when she pursued those feelings; so she simply didn’t want to shake her calm life as of now.

Pranav didn’t want to rock his son’s life with a new change until he’s settled with his current reality. So he concentrated on being a father in the last two years. It is not easy to handle a divorce, the emotional equation changes within an ex-family and make sure children are not affected by it. But now that things are settling down, he did want to pursue his needs.

Similarly Janaki too felt she needs time for herself. She didn’t want to restrict her to just being a mother and wanted to indulge her own self. She entered into casual dating but it never went beyond the basic needs. She did want to see if she’ll find her happily-ever-after but she is also scared of juxtaposing it with her son’s life. She’s somewhere caught between her own individual self and the mother in her. Also the scars from previous relationship have had a deep impact that she had trust issues and insecurities that didn’t let her ease into a new relationship.

                                               ***************

 Pranav and Pallavi are once again back in Canada; but this time individually. They are shooting for different films.  

Pallavi has completed her schedule for the day by noon. She decided to grab lunch and roam around for the day instead of huddling herself in the hotel room. She came across the lake side which she had once visited with Pranav. Slowly her feets took her there. She settled on a bench by the lake side and got lost in thoughts.

She tried moving her hair strand that’s disturbing her vision and thoughts; that’s when she realized the presence beside her. Pranav is standing beside the bench with unreadable eyes.

“Sorry, you were lost in some other world; didn’t want to disturb”.

“No it’s ok. I was just…”

“I know”

They stared at each other in silence. When she moved her eyes away he came and sat beside her slowly.

“How are you?”

She bobbed her head in affirmation.

“I’m fine; you?”

“Not worse”

They shared an eye lock. Pallavi again diverted her eyes. After some minutes of silence Pranav spoke.

“Avni takes after Arjun, right?”

Pallavi is surprised by his question but it did bring a smile on her face.

“Yes. She is his carbon copy. Sometimes I feel Arjun is living through her”.

Pranav didn’t miss the light smile on her lips and the pain in her eyes when she said that.

“Ayaan also takes after his mother”.

They smiled talking about their kids.

“Shall we go for a walk Pallavi?”

She hesitated for a second but then nodded in acceptance. After walking in silence for some time she asked the question that’s bothering her from long.

“Why did Janaki and you divorce?”

Pranav sighed.

“Divorce was Janaki’s choice. She wanted out and somewhere I did too. Initially even I thought for Ayaan’s sake we have to remain together. But Janaki and I had drifted apart a lot and staying together for Ayaan’s sake would have only complicated his life more. Right now we at least have an amicable equation. We can be Ayaan’s father and mother now without any pretensions, any awkwardness. So I guess divorce was the best decision for both of us”.

“How is Janaki?”

“She is happy with Ayaan”.

Pallavi nodded understanding the meaning of his sentence. They continued walking in silence; the sunset got their attention. When she stood enjoying the view, she heard his question.

“Were you happy.....with Arjun?”

Pallavi turned to gaze at him.

“He was a wonderful man, great friend and amazing husband. Yes I was happy with him”.

Except for Pranav’s adam’s apple moving up and down there is no expression on him.

“Was it easy to forget everything and move on?”

She stared ahead with a calm face.

“Life was not easy, forgetting was not easy. But I did not want to give up before fate. So I fought my fate”.

Both of them shared an eye lock and in the background the sun went down......

                                                              ****************

Pranav and Pallavi placed their order for dinner. They’ve dined in the past here. Initially they reminisced some of those moments. But soon few people recognized them and asked for selfies; they obliged them separately. Later when the waiter came with the dishes, they started to dig into it.

The conversation remained light between them. They have changed a lot over the years and it definitely showed but they did enjoy each other’s company tonight. Pallavi did understand the undercurrents of the moment but reacting to it is not her priority now. She’ll have to make a lot of decisions before that and she didn’t want to tax herself right now. She decided to enjoy the moment for what it is.

Finishing the deserts and paying their bill separately, Pallavi was ready to retire for the night. But Pranav stopped her.

“Pallavi, can you come with me to a place?”

She looked at him confused.

“I…”

“I’ll leave you at the hotel soon. Just one hour. Please”.

                                                ************

They reached the place in a cab. It is the hill point where Pallavi had the accident. She is bewildered and is not really feeling secure of the memories popping in her mind.

“Why are we here?”

A long stretch of silence dragged between them before he voiced his feelings.

“I’m still waiting for you Pallavi”.

She embraced herself against the breeze.

“And this time, I want to do it right. I want to propose you”.

“Please don’t”.

“Pallavi...”

“I’m really not ready for this. My life now is different. I don’t know if I can offer you what you’re looking for”.

“I’m ready to wait Pallavi, as long as it takes for you to be sure. I know after last time, this is the right thing to do. I just want you to know my feelings are still intact. What I want is a family with you. That’s all I’m asking you. I know it won’t be the same as in the past, yet I want it, even if it turns out to be good or bad. When you are sure about this, let me know, I’m ready to wait”.

She took her time to respond.

“How will Janaki and Ayaan handle this? Have you thought about it?”

“To be honest, I don’t know. Janaki is sort of expecting this from the time of our divorce. I think she’s surprised this hasn’t come up yet. But regarding Ayaan, I don’t have any clue. He is young to understand the real dynamics of this situation, so right now, there might not be problems. But in future....I don’t know...” he sighed.

“So even you have things to think about. First let’s do that. Even I have to get my mother’s consent. Last time I didn’t give her that honour, I don’t want to repeat mistakes. I can think about this, only if she has positive feelings about it. Avni is young to realize the implications but I have to think about her too. I can’t keep myself ahead of my daughter; something perhaps even you can’t do with your son. So let’s pause this discussion here. We’ll continue it, if there’s a reason for it”.

“Ok. Let’s gain some clarity over this before continuing. I’ll get back to you soon”.

She nodded plainly.

“Let’s leave, it’s late”.

He nods and they walk back to the cab.