Kushi’s mind is blank. She did not know what she had
to feel right now. Actually she chose not to feel anything right now. She is
attending her friend’s anniversary party; today is their day and she doesn’t
want to spoil it. She could feel Arnav’s gaze on her throughout. She felt a lingering feeling on her lips still.
No!
Not now!
Anjali and Viren cut the cake which she had lit a
while ago. Kushi sighed. She did not want to think about anything else now. She
knew once she starts thinking she will fall into a whirlpool of thoughts and
this is not the place for it. She wants to leave as soon as possible. And
certainly she did not want to meet a particular Raizada tonight though he had
been trying for it since a while.
Arnav had been trying to come near her and talk to
her but Kushi avoided him throughout the party meticulously. Sensing her
withdrawal he decided to give her some time. He knew he has bombed her with an
unexpected proposal when we see it through her eyes. She will need time and
once she has dwelled enough either she will withdraw more or she will have
questions to ask and answers to demand. If she is to withdraw and ignore him
then he will take things into his hand. Until then he is going to give her time
to deal with the turn of events.
***************
Kushi was driving back home. Her mind and heart were
equally urging her to think; in fact they were presenting her with some mental
pictures of some memories all of which ended with the light brush of a lip on
hers. The speed of the car raised and in no time she reached her apartment. She
went inside switched on lights and went inside and changed into her night
dress. She came to her kitchen and took the ice cream box and started digging
into it. It was her best way to deal with – tension, sorrow, worry, anger and
excitement. She loved ice creams and when she is too happy or too depressed her
sole companion are ice creams. She has them always stocked at home. Once she
had her fill she closed the box, washed her hands and went to sleep. But sleep had
no mercy on her tonight. She tried tossing and turning but nothing helped.
Finally she had to give up and soon mind’s wheels started churning and she
couldn’t help but let go and delve into those disturbing thoughts.
All
of it made sense now – the recent behaviour of Arnav, the unnecessary flirting,
eye locks, touches, hugs, words of appreciation, dinners together, talks about
future, love, dreams.
He
was trying to woe me!!!He was trying to woe me???
Those
dinners together were actually him taking me out on a date? And I didn’t even
know? I didn’t understand when he was trying to make passes at me? How idiotic
I might have appeared to him to not follow his actions!
First
of all how did I allow all this to happen? This is wrong. I should have stopped
it earlier. But I didn’t know!
How
could he even have such thoughts? I never misled him; has he misinterpreted my
friendship?
But
why me? Why will he think of me in that way? I’m elder to him, hell I’m of his
Di’s age, how can he think of me like that? And he never had scarcity of women
to come behind me, a 30 year old average looking woman.
Those
eye locks and some pecks and hugs had confused me. I had felt his behaviour
strange but I never guessed this to be the reason; because this could never
have been a reasonable explanation considering our age difference, opposite characters,
the friendship that existed between us.
What
would have made him behave like this? Why would he think of me in that way?
Stop
it. It doesn’t matter. What matters is I put a full stop to this.
But
how do I face him again? I cannot be the same with him hereafter. This is going
to be awkward; just like it was after he had kissed me. We both were uneasy and
didn’t know what to say or how to react. When he had figured out what to speak
Anjali came into the kitchen breaking the tension. But now what? How do I face
him and tell him off? How do I take things forward without worsening matters?
Oh
God! Why do you always play with my life? Why is my life never simple and easy?
Why does it have to be complicated always?!
***************
Though Kushi wanted to clear air with Arnav, the
following 2 3 days whenever they came face to face Kushi walked away or ignored
him. She was being true to her escapist self. But Arnav was losing his mind
with each passing day. Kushi was ignoring him by hook or crook and he
understood that Kushi is not going to come forward with the topic hence he
decided he had to rise up to the task.
The next day when Kushi left hospital and headed
towards her car she saw Arnav waiting beside it. And in that moment she knew
‘the talk’ have to happen tonight.
***********************
Their usual Cafe down the road of their hospital
Arnav and Kushi sat opposite each other after
collecting their orders. There was an awkward silence for few minutes but it
ended when both started to speak at the same time.
Kushi: Look Arnav...
Arnav: See Kushi...
Both stopped together. They waited for the other to
speak. Arnav gestured her to talk. Kushi took a deep breath and said without
looking at nothing in particular.
Kushi: Arnav, I really don’t know what to say. I
don’t know how you got such ideas in your head in the first place.
Arnav (calmly): Love just happens Kushi. There is no
logical explanation.
Kushi: Itna logic bhi nahi ki you fall in love with
a girl elder to you? Are you in your senses?
Arnav: Sachin Tendulkar, Shash Rukh Khan, Abhishek
Bachan all fell in love with elder girls.
Kushi: We are talking about us, and not celebrities.
Moreover in their cases the love was mutual; here I cannot even imagine you
like that.
Arnav: Glad that you are ready to talk about ‘us’.
(When she tries to interpret he continues in speed). And yes you have a point, love should be
mutual. But what do you think? Sachin or Shah Rukh or any other youngster in my
stage when they proposed an elder girl the girls readily agreed? They might
have taken their time to convince these ladies. It would have taken time to
pursue them.
Kushi (agitated): Okay enough. Look, I know I should
have talked to you the minute I realized your intentions. But in the fear of
losing your friendship I stalled it till now but, not anymore.
Arnav’s face was calm the only movement is the rise
and fall of his adam’s apple.
Kushi: I don’t have any feelings for you. I don’t
love you. And I will never ever. Is that clear?
Arnav: Acha teek hai, I accept that right now you
don’t love me. But what if tomorrow your feelings towards me change?
Kushi(giving a tight smile): Actually I think it is
already changing. I thought after clearing the air that may be we will be able
to continue as friends. But now it is clear that cannot happen. So I end every
relation between us today. From this moment, you are just Anjali’s brother for
me. That’s all.
Arnav (laughing): You won’t be able to do that
doctor.
Kushi: Oh try me!
Arnav(winking): I would love to!
Kushi (angry): What the
Arnav: I mean it doctor; you won’t because if you
want to end our friendship and any contact between us then it means you fear
that your ‘fragile heart’ will fall in love with me.
Kushi (shocked and angry with mouth open): What?
Arnav: Yup you want to avoid me because you fear
falling in love with me.
Kushi: Arnav, this is ridiculous. It’s not true.
Arnav: Then prove it.
Kushi stared at him realising what is coming.
Arnav: Prove it by continuing our friendship and
allowing me to pursue you.
Kushi (with sharp glare): Why would I do that? Why
do I need to prove myself to you? I won’t.
Arnav (with a smirk): Then don’t. Either way I will
try to pursue you.
Kushi: You can do whatever you want Mr. Raizada.
It’s none of my business.
Arnav: Aww back to Mr. Raizada? Fine, but it won’t
be long before you will be calling me ‘Baby’.
Kushi: Keep dreaming.
Saying that Kushi walked out of the cafe.
Arnav (himself): Hmmmmmm (stretching his body and
sittign straight and sighed) Kushi se
challenge toh kar liya lekin kuch plan hai kya Arnav?!
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