CHAPTER - 28

It is a Sunday. Janaki is sitting in the living room and going through some of her files when the door bell rang. Her maid informed her it is Pallavi.

“Pallavi? Come in” she ushered her into the living room politely.

“I….I just wanted to meet Ayaan”.

“Oh sure! He’s taking a nap but will be up in few minutes. If you don’t mind waiting….”

“No, it’s fine”.

They sat in silence unable to frame a conversation. Slowly Pallavi addressed her.

“I know….I has no right to ask this. And sorry if I’m intruding…..”

Janaki stared at her waiting for her question.

“Why did you decide on divorce? You guys crossed that bridge once”.

Janaki took a moment to answer. She is contemplating on the right words.

“Because I couldn’t fool myself about a better tomorrow……anymore”.

Pallavi didn’t miss her resigned expression.

“Didn’t you want to try for Ayaan’s sake?”

“I did. More than that, I wanted to do it for myself too. And I did try. But then after a point….I finally accepted the fact that we were never meant to be”.

Pallavi let her collect her thoughts.

“We had a choice - To keep pretending to ourselves everything is fine or for Ayaan to have his father and mother separately. If we chose the former, someday Ayaan will realize that he did not have a home but house and how we’re just his parents and not a family in its entirety. I know how it feels; Pranav knows. We were victims of it once. So I did not want my son to go through that. So we decided that we better walk separate ways and make Ayaan adjust to separate lives from beginning”.

“But even then the situation is same right. Ayaan still have to face the music”.

“Yes but it is better. If we continued as husband and wife we will have, or I will have expectations from Pranav. I will want a proper family for Ayaan. But Pranav might not rise up to that need the way I desire. Our relationship did have a strain from a long time”.

Janaki is not grieving, she’s just opening up and surprisingly she found it easy to do it with Pallavi.

“Maybe if we stayed together longer the fissures……I didn’t want to end up hating Pranav, making it difficult for my son too. Right now Ayaan has both his parents, though separately, but in an amicable relationship. Rest of it he has to face it, there is no choice since he is born to Pranav and me”.

Pallavi felt a deep respect for the woman before him.

“I’m sorry for doing this to you Janaki”.

“Don’t be Pallavi. I don’t blame you. I might have somewhere in the past, in my emotional vulnerability. But not now because it is not you, it is Pranav who wronged me. There were millions of girls out there who liked him, admired him. But if he had been faithful to me then he would have been mine forever. He loved a girl outside his marriage instead of working on the limitations in his marriage. You have nothing to be sorry for”.

Pallavi nodded tear eyed. Janaki has freed her from the guilt she’s been carrying all along.

“Oh I forgot. You’re here to meet Ayaan. We got carried away. It is time for him to be up, I’ll check”.

“No it’s ok. Let him come when he’s ready. I’ve no other plans for today”.

“Has Avni adjusted to Pranav?”

“I hope they will. More than Avni, I’m worried about Pranav”.

“Don’t be. No matter how bad a husband he is, he is a great father. I have seen it with Ayaan. Initially he could not adjust with Ayaan too”.

Pallavi smiled.

“I promise Ayaan will always have his father Janaki”.

Janaki smiled but said nothing.

“Will you ever find someone else for you?”

Janaki couldn’t help a laugh.

“I don’t know. I can’t find a replacement for Pranav right now in my life. I don’t know if I will ever be able to. Not that I did not try but honestly somewhere I don’t want to. I have Ayaan. That’s enough for me”.

“I felt the same too when I left Pranav years back. But Arjun changed my thoughts and feelings. Again when he disappeared from my life, I had decided not to walk down that lane ever. But now….I doesn’t know if I sound like a serial dater. But….sometimes letting life take you in different directions is worth it. Do not deny yourself a chance at happiness if it ever crosses you”.

Pallavi’s words did touch Janaki, she smiled and gave a nod.

“Will you be able to forgive Pranav ever?”

“I don’t know. It’s not like I’m burning with anger each moment, but then yes at times when you are alone you cannot stop cursing the person who is responsible for it. At least for venting out my pain and frustration I do hate Pranav at times. I have forgiven him but not fully yet. I will have to and I will. Because if I don’t, I will carry him in my heart forever and that will destroy me.  Ayaan is the only link left between us; I won’t deny him that but that is all I can give him now”.

“I understand”

Just then Pallavi noticed Ayaan on the stairs. He is giving her a strange look. She couldn’t decipher if it is hate or anger or pain or all of them. Janaki saw him.

“Ayaan…come down. We have guest. Pallavi is here to meet you”.

Ayaan looked from his mom to Pallavi. He slowly came down the stairs and stood before Pallavi. She greeted him and he obliged with a meek hello. Pallavi smiled and went on her knees to talk more but he moved away. He backed away slowly and then bolted out of the room. Janaki yelled after him but he did not turn back.

“I’m sorry Pallavi. He never behaves like that”.

“He has every right to behave like that with me Janaki. Cool down. I deserve It”.

“I’m sorry Pallavi”

“No don’t be Janaki. Maybe you’re right, Pranav wronged you more than me. But in Ayaan’s case, I have equally wronged him like his father. I’m getting an important place in his father’s life which actually should have belonged to his mother. He has a right to hate me. I won’t blame him. Don’t scold him”.

Lavanya sighed and held her hand.

“Ayaan will come for the wedding”.

“Don’t force him. He’s already dealing with a lot”.

“I won’t but he will come”.

Pallavi couldn’t help a smile and Janaki returned it.

We are bound together by the man we both love. And at the end I get to keep him and Janaki is losing him forever. Yet she is accepting her fate and even being good to me. Not all can do that! Pranav has lost a gem! What did he find in me to leave this woman behind! Maybe this is their fate. His, mine and Janaki’s!

         

                                                 **********

Ayaan is lying on his stomach. Janaki sighed watching him from the door. She mentally chided Pranav.

 He should have been here to console his son and make him see light. But alas, seems like I will have to do it alone. But then what can Pranav say? Can he tell his son to respect Pallavi, just like that? It would have reduced him in his son’s eyes. I will have to do this, not for Pranav, but for my son’s peace of mind.

She walked near the bed and sitting beside him brushed his hair slowly. Ayaan fisted his fingers and shut his eyes tightly.

“I’m not going to apologize for what happened”.

“You have to, because you insulted a person elder to you. That’s not what I taught you”.

“She is the reason why Dad left us”.

“It was his choice Ayaan, no one forced him. If he is not with us then he is to the one responsible for it, not anyone else”.

Ayaan opened his eyes at that and stared at his mother.

“Yes, If Dad is not with us, then it is his own choice. And maybe your Maa herself might have given him reasons to make that choice or not given him reasons to choose differently. So why blame Pallavi?”

“But you love him Maa. You would not have made Dad run away”.

Janaki smiled at his innocence.

“Ayaan, some things cannot be explained. Ok, at the surface level, maybe it would seem like Pranav left us just like that and broke my heart. But during the time when we were together, maybe I could not give him what he desired, just like he couldn’t give me what I desired as well. He found it in Pallavi so he decided to be with her. We were simply not meant to be together”.

“So like Dad found someone else, you will also find someone else in your life?”

Janaki laughed at that.

“You don’t have to worry over that Ayaan. Maa needs no one but my baby. But that’s not the point here. Whatever it is, Pallavi is elder to you and she is important to your father. So you should at least respect her. She is not that bad”.

Ayaan listened wordlessly.

“Sometimes some unpleasant things happen, because it is destined to happen. There is a good side to every bad thing that occurs. It is for us to find it out. Do you get me?”

Ayaan nodded and she took him in her lap.

“You should go for your father’s wedding”.

“I don’t want to go”.

“I won’t force you to go. It’s your choice. But I would like my son to not miss out on anything in his parents’ lives. Your father will be happy. More than that, it will reduce the insecurity you are having regarding losing your father. You should be part of his life, and then he will be a part of your life too. Do you understand?”

Ayaan nodded obediently.

“One more thing Maa wants to tell you”.

Ayaan looked up at her.

“Avni, Pallavi’s daughter is your sister now. If you can’t accept Pallavi, it’s fine. But you must accept the bond you have with Avni”.

“But how can she be my sister?”

“She is your sister Ayaan.  Just like you, she is innocent in all that is happening around her. Just because her mother is marrying your father, you cannot be distant or rude to her”.

“I can behave well with her, but I can’t accept her as my sister”.

“Siblings are a blessing Ayaan. When you have one, cherish her. A sibling means, a friend, someone who will listen to you, who will consider you as her idol, worship you as her hero. As a child, Maa always wanted a sibling. If I had one, I would not have been so lonely and there would have been someone to share my happiness, sorrow and even guide me at times or make me responsible for another life”.

Ayaan listened intently.

“She is on the same boat as you Ayaan. So don’t hate her and if possible try to love her. That’s all I have to say”.

She kissed him on the forehead and got up. Ayaan held her hand before she could leave.

“I love you Maa, you are the best”.

“I love you too dear”.

Ayaan realized that day how wonderful a woman his mother is. She covered up for his father but also made sure her son did not accuse another woman for their fate. Also she made sure her son did not hurt another innocent soul in all this. He wondered if Avni would be all that his mother has said.

                                        *******************

Pranav and Pallavi are getting married today on December 31stNight. As it is a private wedding, media got no byte despite trying their best. This is their private moment with their family.

Pranav is holding Ayaan’s hand in his while talking to Viren. Ayaan is feeling blank. He did not know what to feel.

Is it fair to his mother that he is here? But she herself sent me here; and Dad is happy to have him here.

Ayaan decided that it is better he doesn’t think about anything and stayed mute.

Just then door of bride’s room opened and Pallavi descended the stairs with her sister and Jasmine beside her and Laxmi following them with Avni in her arms. She is dressed in an off white sari with golden border paired with a golden blouse. Ornaments were minimal as well. She has light make up and her hair is tied up in a bun with the fringe adorning her forehead. Pallavi searched for Pranav’s eyes and meets his peaceful eyes.

When she reached the hall, Pranav came forward and asked for her hand. She held his hand and they both walked towards the pooja room. He is holding Ayaan in one hand and Pallavi held Avni in her other hand who had demanded to go to her mother. After taking blessings from God and elders they came to the living room where the marriage registrar waited for them. Everything got over in a blur. They signed the pages; Viren and Nisha did other formalities from both sides.

Pranav filled her maang with sindhoor and tied the mangalsutra. Flashes of Arjun and Janaki did arise in their minds. After all they had shared this special moment with them before. The marriage is complete. Everyone started congratulating them. Meanwhile Avni had noticed Ayaan as the only child in the crowd and moved near him.

“Hi, I’m Avni. You are?

Ayaan found it difficult to talk to her, yet he managed a response remembering his mother’s words.

“Ayaan Kashyap Malhotra”

“Ooooooh! So you are my brother?!”

Ayaan got stuck at that question. The wide eyed girl before him is looking at him with genuine delight. She is told by her mother that she now has a brother whose name is Ayaan. She is very thrilled about having a brother and now that she knows it’s him she did not waste a moment and held on to his arm even before Ayaan can respond.

“I’m so happy. I always wanted a brother. I’m always surrounded by old people you know and I can’t play with them. Nisha Aunty’s children are my sisters. But I wanted a brother always. Now I have you. You will stay with us?”

And just like that Ayaan felt him easing to the girl’s incessant but adorable chatter.

                                            *******************

Janaki huddled up in the living room after giving the maids leave for two days. She did not want to see their sympathetic faces or hear their comments on her life behind her back. The phone rang once again. She has been receiving calls from different channels and newspapers asking for her response to Pranav’s remarriage. She switched off her cell.

She spent the whole day with Ayaan trying to forget everything else. Pranav came to pick up Ayaan in the evening. Janaki did not wish to face him; hence she sent Ayaan down with the maid after advising him to behave well and kissed him. Pranav was also not sure how he is to face Janaki today. When he saw Ayaan coming down with the maid, he knew she did not wish to either.

Clock struck 12. It is New Year now and she can hear crackers outside.

People are celebrating the New Year with lots of hopes and happiness. Many will be wishing the next year to be the best for them. Some will be having a fresh start this year, in their careers or in their personal lives. Pranav and Pallavi are also starting a new life.

Heaviness descended upon her heart. But she willed herself not to cry. She did not want to wallow in self pity and end up feeling miserable.

I did have a life and I have Ayaan in it. He is the only one I can call my own and count on to never desolate me. But there is a discreet loneliness that nagged my heart sometimes.

I don’t have feelings for Pranav now. I can move on in life if I try. But what does move on mean to me? Is it waiting for happiness through a man or simply focusing my life on my career and son? These options can help me survive but will it give the happiness I desire?!

What plans does God have for me? I’m ready to wait for them! Though I had a disturbing childhood, it is also filled with happy moments with my father. I did have some nice moments with Pranav, there was a time when we loved each other; even though it all ended bitterly. In his absence I have Ayaan with me. Life is all about a mixed bag of good and bad experiences. Each experience is a leaves behind something valuable. I’ll have to wait and see what this phase of my life will offer me.

Loses are loses until you gain it back or gain something bigger than that! She has had her loss now, now it’s time for her to gain!!!

                                                                   **************

Ayaan did feel his mother is in a dull mood all through the day but trying her best to hide it. He did not pester either, and played along just to make her happy. When he had to leave her behind to go for his father’s wedding, he felt sorry for her. He did feel angry at his dad, but when he saw his happiness he did not know what to feel. That day he realized right and wrong are two confusing concepts because remarrying is a ‘right’ decision for his father but a ‘wrong’ one too because it hurt his mother.

But will it have been ‘right’ if my father stayed back with Maa without loving her; would it have been ‘wrong’ to my father and Pallavi aunty then? Who is right and who is wrong, I don’t know. Maybe when I grow up I will understand why these adults are so confusing with their feelings.

He returned back home to his mother after the ceremony. He saw her huddled on the sofa asleep. Ayaan came near her and hugged her. Janaki woke up with a start.

“Ayaan, you are back!”

She took him on her lap and hugged him. She did not ask him the details of the wedding, nor did he say. They remained like that in an embrace for long before they went to sleep in their room.

“I Love you Maa. And I will always be with you”.

“Promise?”

“Yeah Forever”

Janaki smiled.

                                              *****************

Soon after dinner, everyone retired for the night. Avni fell asleep and Nisha took her home with Akash and Laxmi. Viren dropped Ayaan at Janaki’s house and hit Jasmine’s apartment.

Pallavi is feeling blank once they’re alone. Pranav saw her expression and came near her. He wordlessly hugged her and she hugged him back. They did not speak anything but remained hugging. They have a lot of memories behind them, some sweet, some bitter. They thought about their past lives, Janaki, Arjun, Ayaan and Avni.

Life is not easy, it will never be. But this time we are together to face everything. That’s enough for now.

CHAPTER - 27

Pranav is here to take Ayaan with him for few days. But this time when Ayaan returns back to me, my son’s life is going to change again. I’m not sure if he can handle it. Isn’t it too much pressure on a kid? Who am I kidding?! My worries are not just about Ayaan……somewhere deep down this is going to affect me too.

But it’s inevitable. Back in time, Ayaan’s existence made me feel, I’m getting a second chance with Pranav. But I couldn’t avoid the realization for long that I’m holding onto a mirage, something that’s never going to be mine! I was able to survive that blow because of Ayaan, his presence in my life. Now it’s my turn to be that solid support to him.

Asking Ayaan to get his bags out, Pranav moved towards Janaki. She addressed him with nonchalance.

“You have a tough task of making Ayaan understand”.

“I know”

“Don’t hurt my child”.

“I won’t hurt my son”.

She nodded plainly. He hesitated a bit before asking the next thing on his mind.

“Will you be okay?”

“Did it ever matter to you?”

He has no response.

“My consent is not an issue Pranav. I don’t have any right over you now. I’m not your wife. You have every right to live your life the way you want. I’m just afraid for my child”.

He nodded understandingly and didn’t drag the conversation any more.

                                        ******************

Pranav finished bathing Ayaan and let him out to take a quick shower. They played football in the evening, had dinner and now gearing up for an animation film in the home theatre. But he needs to talk to his son. He didn’t know though how to present the matter to his son. Pranav came out of the bathroom to see his son wiping his hair while moving to the tunes of Michel Jackson’s ‘Dangerous’. Pranav smiled. He gently moved him on the recliner and wiped his hair well. But his son is in a fun mood.

“Dad come, dance with me”.

He pulled Pranav. Having no choice and also wanting to enjoy this moment with his son, he danced with Ayaan. They had a wonderful time and settled down on the recliner laughing.

“I love you Dad”

“I love you too champ”

He kissed Ayaan’s forehead caressing his hair and Ayaan side-hugged him. Suddenly Ayaan got up.

“Dad, I need to watch that movie. Let’s go”

“One minute son; Dad wants to talk to you about something”.

“What Dad?”

Pranav took him in his arms. He took some time to begin.

“You know your Maa and Dad are your parents but not married now. Hmm?!”

Ayaan nodded.

 “Do you want to know the reason why we are no more married?”

Ayaan nodded again with curiosity.

“It’s because Dad loves another woman”.

Ayaan’s face was a mix of confusion, doubts, anxiety and sadness. Pranav hugged Ayaan more close to him affectionately, struggling to explain this to him.

“Champ, when two people marry, there should be love between them. Somehow when your Maa and I married, that love was not there”.

“Why?”

“Ayaan.....sometimes it’s like that. In some cases love develop later on in their lives. In our lives, your Maa did develop feelings for me. But somehow Dad was unable to love her back the way she deserved. It is my weakness, not your mother’s”.

“Why Dad? Why couldn’t you love her back? She is so good”.

“You are too small to understand all this now Ayaan. When you grow up, maybe you will. Janaki is a nice woman. But love doesn’t happen always; it doesn’t happen just because one is married or our partner is good. It has to come from within us. Our soul should recognize the other as its soul mate. It happened for me with Pallavi. I found my solace in her”.

Ayaan’s face dropped. Pranav could not see him like this.

Arnav: What happened son?

“At school many students were making fun of me with this name. Teachers also talk in between them; that you left Maa and me for her. And you...you never loved us”.

Pranav fisted his fingers.

Public can be too cruel when it comes to the lives of celebrities. They just gossip and never realize what effect it has on a celebrities’ life, on his family, on his children. Here my son is already close to the truth and hurt by it. I couldn’t break it to him first and make him prepared to face the cruel mouths around him. But I’ve no right to get angry because it all begins with me!

He felt helpless and hugged his son fiercely.

“I’m sorry son. Forgive Dad for this”.

“So it’s true?”

He slowly came out of the hug and took Ayaan’s hands in his.

“Ayaan, when people around you talk something, what you must understand is, it’s never the whole truth. If you have doubts in mind, you should ask your dear ones and clear it. People love to gossip about other’s life. They never think about its effects on others. So never let such people affect your life. Do you get me?”

Ayaan nodded with tears coming out of his eyes slowly. Pranav couldn’t take it, he wiped them immediately.

“No champ, don’t cry”.

“What’s the truth Dad?”

He sat down on the floor leaning his back on the recliner and pulled Ayaan on his lap hugging him.

“Truth is love Ayaan. In love there is no right and wrong. Love makes one selfish sometimes, selfless sometimes. Once when we couldn’t deny each other, Pallavi and I became selfish in our love hurting our dear ones. But when she came to know you were coming into this world, she became selfless enough to let your father go, for your sake; despite what she will have to face at the hands and tongues of this cruel society. She could have made her future and name secure by marrying me then, but she didn’t. Similarly your Maa could have held onto to me, for your sake and made all our lives miserable for her love; but she didn’t. Both their love is true. But I could reciprocate only to one and....and I loved Pallavi...always; even when she was not in my life”.

Ayaan is listening with full attention.

“Janaki and I decided that it’s better to part ways for a better future. Staying together we would have never been able to give you a proper family. Better than that is giving you a father and mother in their own right. When we divorced, Pallavi was not there between us. She is not the reason your parents separated. If all this is anyone’s fault, then it is your father’s alone. I alone spoiled two girls’ lives. I was always the selfish one. When I married your Maa, it was for my grandma’s happiness and personal benefits. When I found love with Pallavi, I was selfish enough to leave your Maa alone and go. Even now, I’m selfish; I’m selfish when I’m trying to get my share of happiness in this life”.

“Isn’t that wrong Dad? If Maa and….that woman….can be selfless then why couldn’t you be?”

“I don’t know son. I don’t know what is right and wrong. All I can tell you is, sometimes we have to sacrifice ourselves for our family. Like how Pallavi and I did when you were to be born. And like how your Maa gave up on me for my happiness.  And sometimes for our own individual sake, we have to choose between family and ourselves. And that’s a very tough decision to take. Trust me, only those who have experienced such a state can tell you how much they are caught in the web of ‘right and wrong’ and suffers taking a stand. What is right for you can be wrong for another”.

Both remained silent for some time.

“I revealed all this today because……”

Pranav hesitated. Ayaan stared at him with confusion.

“Dad and Pallavi are planning to get married soon. Will you be okay with it son?”

 Ayaan bend his face low.

“If you are not happy, I won’t go ahead with it champ; promise! I can’t hurt you more”.

Ayaan remained silent for some time. Pranav sat patiently with Ayaan on his lap, waiting for his son to say something. Slowly he began to talk.

“You don’t love Mom. And….you love…Pallavi. You will be happy only with her….and not Mom…..It will never change?

Ayaan raised his eyes to look into his father’s eyes.

“Will Mom be okay with it? Does she know already?”

“Janaki know”

Ayaan bend his head again.

“Ayaan....son, if you are not okay with this, Dad won’t do this. You just have to command”.

He took his time to respond.

“You will always be my Dad right? Will you come to meet me always? You won’t leave me and Maa in times of trouble right? Will you still be in our life?”

“I’m going nowhere son. My marriage will not change anything between us. I was, am and will always be there for you. I’m your Dad and you are my son. No one can take that away from us”.

Ayaan nodded and hugged his father. Pranav relaxed in his arms.

“And you are going to get a young sister too”.

Ayaan came out of the hug and looked at his father’s face in confusion.

“Like I have you in my life, Pallavi has a daughter, her name is Avni. Now you will have a sister as well. You always wanted a sister right?”

Ayaan kept looking at his father’s face and hugged him fiercely. A battle has already started in his mind. He felt like he is going to lose his father in every sense. Nothing is going to be same anymore.

Nisha and Akash have come for a week’s stay with Pallavi and their mother. Avni is fast asleep after dinner. Pallavi told them she has something to discuss and they all joined her in the balcony after dinner. She is unsure how to brooch the subject. Seeing her hesitance they asked her what’s wrong.

“Pranav proposed to me”.

Nisha and Aakash shared a smile. While her mother came and sat beside her, taking her face in her arms.

“And what have you decided?”  

“Last time…..I decided everything according to my wish. This time I don’t want to repeat the same mistake”.

Laxmi couldn’t control her tears. She hugged Pallavi who sought solace in her arms.

“In the past, situation was such that, we couldn’t stand by your side. Everything seemed wrong, and we thought we did what is best for our daughter. Yet again everything went wrong in your life”.

“You did what any parent would do Maa. I’ve no regrets. You’ve always shown me the right path; and I want your guidance again”.

Laxmi came out of her hug when Nisha touched her arm. She wiped her daughter’s tears before speaking.

“Last time we could neither accept it nor give consent. But now, there can’t be a better decision than this. I’m happy for you baby”.

Pallavi hugged her mother tears streaming down her eyes again. This support is important to her.

Nisha demanded for her hug breaking them into a smile despite the tears. The sisters hugged each other.

“We want you to be happy. We were actually waiting for this news from a long time”.

Pallavi stared at her. 

“After Arjun, we knew if you are to have a life, it would be with Pranav only; especially when he got a divorce too. But we didn’t know how to make it happen for you. Last time we denied it to you and this time we didn’t know how to give it back to you”.

Pallavi wiped her tears.

“Just live your life the way you want Pallavi. You are happy and that’s all we want”.

“Avni...will she be able to accept this change?”

“She needs a father figure in her life too. She will get adjusted” Laxmi assured her.

“It’s time to celebrate. I will bring sweets”.

Nisha and Laxmi went inside to get sweets. Akash patted Pallavi’s shoulders.

“Congrats. You have taken the right decision for yourself and Avni. Go by it, we all are with you”.

She nodded smiling weakly.

“Family is the biggest strength an individual can have in life. If your family is with you in a decision you are making, that means you are on the right path. You can face any hurdles if your family’s support is with you. I’m telling from my own experience”.

For the first time Pallavi felt relaxed about the decision she made. A soft smile appeared on her face.

                                                       ***************

Jasmine kept the phone. She is happy for Pallavi. Just then she heard the door bell ring. She had ordered for pizza. But when she opened the door, Viren stood before her with pizza in one hand.

“I’m famished. Thanks for the pizza”.

He walked in through the door ignoring her.

“I was with the team discussing how the publicity of the film can be done in a more effective manner. Since the release date is nearing, my head is one fire, so is my stomach.

He placed the pizza on the dining table and moved towards kitchen. Jasmine came and leaned on the door of the kitchen folding her hands. He saw she has placed milk for coffee on the burner.

“Coffee this late at night, hmm, don’t you want to sleep girl.. Anyways I’m tired as well. A good cup of coffee can lift my spirits. Nope, I’m not expecting you to make one for me, I will help myself. In fact I will make yours as well”.

He added more milk and kept it on the burner. He made coffee whistling alone while Jasmine went to washroom. But when she came out she did not see Viren anywhere. Also the pizza packet and coffee mugs are missing. Suddenly he came through the front door again and went inside the kitchen; took 2 plates and spoons with him.

“Come upstairs Jasmine, we are having a candlelight dinner on the balcony”.

He winked at her and walked to the door.

“I’m not coming anywhere with you”.

“I know. That’s why last one week I have been coming here and having dinner, not taking you out to some restaurant. Because I knew you won’t come out with me. I am not being a miser and saving my purse. My intentions are pure”.

Jasmine stared at him in an unnerving way.

“Umm…don’t do that; feels weird. It makes me feel like you are the male and I’m the female here. That gives me creeps. You know, manhood is everything for a man!”

“If you want your food, just come up leaving your ego!!!!!”

After almost 15 minutes when Jasmine didn’t turn up, Viren sighed.

“Damn her stubbornness!”

He went inside and saw her sitting on the couch simply changing channels.

“Ok look. Just come. I want to have dinner with you. I won’t talk rubbish...I won’t propose. Ok? Just a dinner…..Please”.

She switched off the Tv and walked out into the balcony.

“Who can resist Viren after all?”

He whistled his way out.      

                                                     **************

“I can never be a mother”.

“I’m not sure if I can be a father or not, never checked!”

“The only person who truly loved me was my father. You…..reminded me of him”.

“Really? Then why did you avoid me, instead of falling for my charms babe?!”

She stared at him silently.

“Because your charming nature reminded me of someone else……Rahul”.

Viren replied indifferently biting into the pizza.

“Mm…I have heard about it. I know you had a past affair which shattered you completely that you became so averse to even the mere idea of men”.

“I met Rahul when we both were studying in the film institute at Pune. He filled my life with love which I was craving for after my father’s death. My mother was busy with her third husband and I really had no touch with my step siblings. He became the centre of my life. I was blind in my love for him. But he used my innocence for his benefit. He pimped me to a senior director and producer so that he gets the opportunity to make his debut film, which was the biggest goal in life”.

Viren listened to her silently when she is pouring out.

“I broke up with him when I couldn’t hold on. He used his child inside my womb to get me back so that he can use me for his successes. I decided to kill that fetus which will let him have a hold on me and I did it”.

She gulped down the water Viren gave her. She is getting emotional. Her face is getting covered in sweat quickly and her eyes turned red.

“I killed my child. I also got my womb removed. It gave me a sense of power. I don’t know if it is right to say like that, but when I ‘un-womaned’ myself according to the labels and designations of society, I felt powerful, different and better. Everyone has their own way of thinking and their own personal shares of right and wrong. I followed what my mind said is right. I used my mother’s money and influence to sweep him off my life. My mother was angry with me, but thankfully she helped me with it. And Rahul’s chapter was over. He was dead; how, why, by whom none knew”.

She wiped her face.

“After that I never used my mother’s help as well. I fought my way into the industry. Mmm...There were many hurdles. Hey, you know whom I was sold to by Rahul?”

Viren stared at Jasmine.

“Shyam Nadir, his father-in-law and some of their contacts”.

Viren swore!

“Shyam was after me while I was making my career. He tried to pull me down many times when he never got me where he wanted. With my hard work, will power I came up and here I am”.

Jasmine gave a genuine smile. Viren saw her face and he couldn’t help but smile back weakly.

This woman had gone through so much yet she is here, so successful, throwing her success at the face of those who tried to defeat her. My respect for Jas just grew ten folds!

“So in my way up, I saw so much, that I decided it is better to be away from men. I don’t mean I live a celibate life but it never went beyond the basic need. I have nothing to offer in a serious relationship like you desire from me. I can’t give you family, nor am I a ‘marriage material’ (she rolled her eyes while saying that and he smiled) and dogs like you can fuck around but will ultimately need a docile wife. I don’t want to be your pastime”.

Viren laughed out loud.

“As far as I remember, you have always rejected me. So even if you do that now, it is not a big deal for me. I will still keep trying (he leaned towards Anjali’s face with a naughty romantic expression) till you accept me in your life”.

Jasmine stared at him as if he’s grown two horns.

“I’m not going to give up Jasmine, not now, and never in future. There’s no woman who has captivated my interest like you have. I know it’s going to be a rollercoaster ride with you, but I’m ready for this adventure”.

He winked at her with his killer smile.

“You are impossible; you know that right?”

He grinned.

“Now that’s like my tigress Jasmine. Ok so listen, I’m an outcast in my family because of my nature. They literally have no expectation from me. I think they even wonder if I’m a closet gay. So if they get to know about you, they will digest it with few years. And I don’t need a wife but a girlfriend for myself. Wives are dangerous for my health and I’m sure you’ll make one sexy girlfriend; that’s the highlight man! And coming to kids…”

Jasmine has a slight hint of fear in her eyes which she’s trying to mask, Viren does realize that.

“I hate kids. They are so yeww!!!! Babies keeps shitting or crying or sleeping all the time. And kids turn house upside down and I hate it when someone plays with my personal space. And when they turn into teens; if they are anything like you and I then they will be rebels and give us headache after headache. Also in this age we are living, girls or boys, bringing them up are a risk. This society is not safe for them. So it’s better if we just live our lives well and leave this world when its time”.

She kept looking at Viren’s serious expressions and then burst out laughing. Viren joined in her laughter and both of them kept laughing out loud. The night filled with their laughter as they finally found a base to their relationship.

                                                        ******************

Media is having a field day over the re-united couple Pranav and Pallavi. The news of marriage is out in the open; somehow media got whiff of it and are now using it in all ways they could.

Some are not even bothered about these celebs; while some just watched the entire drama and masala media offers just for time pass. They passed some comments over it and then moved on to the next news. Fans supported them through their associations and on social networking sites by fighting with anti-fans and moralists who are against their favourite couple. Either way there is mixed response to their relationship.

Pranav and Pallavi has decided not to pay attention to media and the circus they make out of their lives. Nor did they pay attention to fans defending them with passion. All that mattered to them is their family and since they have their support this time around, everything is fine in their world.

But there is one person who is deeply affected by this news - Shyam Nadir.

                                                                  **************

A glass containing whisky shattered on the marble floor. Shyam Nadir is taking out his frustration after seeing the latest news on tv. His current mistress Mamta Patel, a prominent side actress woke up lazily wrapping the satin sheets around her. She saw the rigid profile of Shyam and the profanities he is muttering. She also saw the broken glass and finished bottles of alcohol. She sighed and leaned towards the side drawer and took out a cigarette packet and lit one up. Leaning back on the headrest she addressed Shyam.

“ It is very famous you know!”

“What?”  he barked.

“Your failed attempts with Pallavi Nanda”.

Shyam just grit his teeth.

“I know you did a lot to make her bent in the past as well as in the present. But nothing worked, too bad!!!”

“Will you Just SHUT UP”.

She sighed.

“Ok I will. But just a free advise; leave her alone at least from now.  I think facing Pranav Malhotra is not something that Shyam Nadir will be able to handle”.

Crushing the cigarette she moved towards the bathroom.

Shyam cursed behind her. Although he hated to admit it, he knew what she said is right. 

Pallavi Nanda will now always remain a dream!!!