CHAPTER - 30

Pranav and Pallavi are celebrating 10 years of their marriage today. They’ve successfully scurried through marital life for ten years. Flourishing careers, stable home, kids to love – it has been a golden run with minor glitches. They decided to celebrate this milestone in each other’s company. They travelled to Maldives for a short break and enjoyed themselves. On anniversary day, he baked a cake for her as usual and she gifted him yet another variety of flower plant for his garden. Pallavi has a sweet tooth and absolutely loved his desserts. And Pranav is obsessed with the idea of creating a large garden at their home which has unique variety of flowers. They fulfilled each other’s quirks and had a romantic time together.

Sometimes can’t believe that we are having a life together. All those years ago it seemed impossible; as if we are destined to walk separate paths. Now we have all the time in the world. We are together and we will be together, always.

                                           *******************

Next day Pallavi woke up and went down to make coffee for both of them.  She took a vessel and placed it on the burner. After a while Pranav heard her screaming his name and rushed down to check on her. Pallavi is standing in the middle of the kitchen confused and perturbed. The vessel is on the burner and the milk is pouring out relentlessly.

“Pallavi”

He called out for her attention turning off the gas.

“What happened? Why didn’t you turn off the gas? Didn’t you see the milk spilling?”

“I….I…forgot how to turn it off…”

Pranav stared at her for a moment. Her face is a picture of helplessness and confusion. This has been happening from some time.  She has been facing some trouble with her memory. She forgets her dialogues in between shoot, keep grocery in shoe rack by mistake, put more sugar or salt into dishes she prepared, forget names of people, forget to comb her hair or change her night dress before going out etc. Initially Pranav didn’t feel anything wrong and attributed it to stress from work.  But now things are getting serious; she has angry outbursts when confronted, and at times it made her hysteric.

He did not want her to get into a hysteric now, so led her out of the kitchen wordlessly.  He is with Pallavi all the time, helping her out and at the same time observing her. She zone out at times; while she is in the middle of something she suddenly stops it and move away not knowing what to do. She is trying hard but he can see it is slowly affecting her. Hence when they returned back home, somehow Pranav convinced her to be examined. She is angry at first, but he assured her that he just wants her to relax and is doing it to help her. Finally she conceded.

But what the doctor revealed changed their lives forever. Pallavi is having symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease and is diagnosed as in the initial stages of it. Pranav requested the doctor to keep her in the dark about this since he knew she won’t be able to handle this information. Considering her well being, to not cause her more stress and restlessness, doctor informed her it is the after-effects of stress and advised her to take maximum rest.

Pranav started to take care of Pallavi like never before. He knew physically he may not lose her because of this disease, but he knew he could lose her mind one day. But he did not want to think about it for now. He is focusing on taking care of Pallavi in all ways he could and live all his moments with her. He continues to do that, until one day Pallavi chanced upon her medical reports accidently.

She could not digest it. She is in denial first, but soon broke into hysteria. She threw everything that her hand touched and kept screaming. She is angry that Pranav did not tell her, her heart broke realizing she is going to be a burden on him, she realized she would be a liability to all those who loved her; she would forget all who are dear to her and everything that was her world until now one day. She wants Pranav to be free of her, free of this gruesome phase of her life, of that huge responsibility.

“You have to leave me and go King. This is over, I said this is over”.

Pallavi is yelling at him while tears ran down her cheeks and she is throwing everything that came in her hand.

“I'm not going anywhere Pallavi, no matter how much you scream or how many things you break”.

He is adamant and his defence mechanism has always been anger. Pallavi’s body hunches in defeat; she sits down slowly amidst the chaos crying.

“Try to understand. This...this is going to eat me up slowly...in no time I would forget everything...including you...I don't want you to stand by and watch my destruction. Leave me King...leave me alone...” she sobbed into her palms.

“Pallavi...you don't know what you are asking for. Just relax now; we can talk about this later”, he tries to pick her up in his arms.

She allows him to do that. He takes her to their room and makes her sit on the bed; she holds his hand and he obliges her by kneeling beside her. She cupped his face.

“You still have a life ahead of you...You have your career waiting for you, your son, your production company, your businesses. You have many things to achieve yet; more heights to attain. I don't want to be a burden on you... when you should be out there ...achieving success. Don't waste it all for me... for this life that is... about to end. Go away...  live your life King”.  

He couldn’t help the crack in his voice though his eyes refused to moisten.

“What are you saying Pallavi?”

“I have lived a wonderful life with you King... and I'm happy. But now... everything has changed ...everything and I mean it. If we continue together even after this, I don't know...maybe...maybe I will hurt you each day by forgetting everything that happened between us slowly. So please...please leave me alone to deal with this.....”

“Would you have left me if I was diagnosed with this illness?”

 She stared at him with teary eyes.

“Would you have gone ahead with your life and career leaving me behind? Would you have left me alone to deal with this phase of life, when I need you the most?”

“King…”

“You will not. I know that. Then why do you think that I would? I might be the most selfish person you have seen in this world and this time too I'm being selfish. I want to be by your side always, in good health and illness. I want to grow old with you by my side and I would do anything to keep you with me. So don't you ever compete with this selfish man; I'm going to get what I want, always”.

He hugged her fiercely but at the same time tenderly patted her head. She continues to cry nonstop.

“What if I forget you one day? What if I don't recognize you...push you away from me?”

He hugged her more tightly.

“I will come more close, each time you push me away”.

He did not dare to answer her first two questions; because both of them knew that it will happen eventually. All he could do now is hold onto her till the end.  They did not talk after that, but stayed in each other's embrace and cried for the fate that is ahead of them. Life is never constant!

                                            ********************

Avni is in her teens and is quite a handful for Pranav. She had realized Pranav is not her own father early on and it developed a distance between them. As soon as she touched teens it got worse. But the present crisis in their lives brought them together as a unit. They became each other’s support system around Pallavi and her illness. Viren, Jasmine, Nisha and Akash stood by them as Pranav and Pallavi navigated their way around this.

Pranav dealt with the situation with as much courage and patience he could muster. But Pallavi’s illness is eating into him slowly; Pallavi’s fragile memory helped her in forgetting the scars she left behind but it all became inked into Pranav’s heart affecting him for life. Avni noticed it clearly. She could see it, anyone could see it looking into his ageing grey eyes, the sudden graying of his hair, the weakness on his face and the loss of gusto in his walk.

Ayaan is also very supportive to his father and sister. Since the time he’s aware of Pallavi’s illness, Ayaan felt differently about her. He was always neutral about her; he did not hate her, but neither could he adjust to her presence in his life. He could not adapt to it like he could with Ajith in his mother’s life. Maybe because he was too young and unprepared when Pallavi walked into his life. The way his father took care of Pallavi left him shook. He could see what she meant to his father clearly now. Slowly with time, something which was unacceptable to him became acceptable – Pallavi as his father’s wife.

CHAPTER - 29

Arnav and Kushi have settled into their new life. Their careers are at peak. But they managed to balance it so that they have time for their kids. Ayaan used to meet Pallavi and Avni when he spends time with his father but Pranav made sure his son got his exclusive time. Ayaan is formal with Pallavi and their equation never really developed beyond it. He still could not accept her as family. But Avni is included in his downtime with his father. The children bonded well over the years. Amidst all the chaos their parents has created, they care for each other like blood siblings.

Janaki’s business flourished beyond measures and it kept her on toes. But despite a successful business and Ayaan’s presence, at times she did feel emptiness caving in on her. She is a kind of person who thrived on love and in the absence of it, she suffered. She needed someone to share her life with. So finally after lot of contemplation, she got serious about dating.

 Like all those who search for the right man in a string of dates, she experienced disasters and disappointments in ample amount. She did get physical gratification and some fun time as well. But this time she wanted more. Two years into her efforts, she is nowhere close to finding the perfect company for herself.  She concluded that she will have to make do without a man in her life; no point in wasting time on something that is never destined!

She started feeling bouts of anxiety and depression over time. Her life pattern bored her. Ayaan did get affected by the changes in his mother. It did worry Pranav too. Owing to their concerns she sought medical help. After a year or so she slowly came out of that phase, thanks to her father’s dream project of a shelter home for the orphaned and needy.

Her father dreamt of building a shelter home that incorporated orphaned kids, old age people, and animals all together under one roof. He did start working on it but then his untimely death and Janaki being busy in her own life put an abrupt end to the project. It had been at the back of her mind and in one of her counselling sessions she revealed it in a random conversation with her doctor. On his encouragement she worked on it; which became a huge turning point in her life.

 It engaged her fully and when it finally evolved and is filled with orphaned kids, old people and stray animals it became a ‘home’ more than a shelter. People, who are not related to each other, set up their own families inside it. Kids got parental guidance and care. Elders who were abandoned by their family found happiness and a new life with these kids. And stray animals found a place of care as well.

The love and care between the members of the shelter inspired Janaki. They considered her as a member of their family and Janaki finally found the feeling of belonging she chased in life! It gave her a deep sense of satisfaction. Ayaan is also their favourite. Finally Janaki have a family, which she always craved for.

                                     **************************

Pranav and Pallavi are relaxing for the weekend at their farmhouse, in the outskirts of Mumbai. Avni and Ayaan are with Laxmi and Janaki respectively. Pranav is leaning on the headrest of the bed with Pallavi lying on his lap. He is running his fingers through her hair.

“Pallavi?”

“Hmm”

“Is it time to think about our kids?”

She stilled and opened her eyes facing him.

“You want kids?”

“Don’t we?”

“We have Ayaan and Avni”

“Yes, but you don’t want kids of our own?”

“No”

“Why?”

“King, we have built this life on the ashes of your relationship with Janaki. She is just getting stable from her depression and is still alone. Even now I hate myself for doing this to her. We don’t have to add to the list a child that is yours and mine”.

Pranav is silently listening to her perspective.

“Also, what about Ayaan and Avni? It’s a surprise that Ayaan could accept Avni in his life. It is more than I expected. We don’t need to burden the child with more siblings whom probably he doesn’t want. Also Avni! She is small now, but when she grows up there might be insecurities in her mind too. So I think its better that we don’t plan for anymore kids. We got what we wanted; we are together now and we have our children. That’s enough King”.

Pranav stared at her for a while before swooping down to kiss her forehead.

                                             **********************

Janaki is in a supermarket doing her monthly purchase. Her servants did the major part of it but for her personal things, she prefers going herself. She went to the rack where sanitary pads are kept. She saw a man there who is confused and pulling out many brands of it. She felt his behaviour weird. When he saw a lady there, at first he felt embarrassed and moved away slightly. But then, he came near her and whispered softly.

“Excuse me ma’am. Can you tell me which the best one is?

Deducing him to be a pervert Janaki snapped.

“What?”

“Huh…please...please don’t misunderstand. It’s just that.....my daughter just had her first period.....and hmm.... I don’t know which of these to buy....she is at home...restless...I need help....please.... if you don’t mind...”

“Where is her mother?”

He became silent.

“She is no more”.

Janaki realized the situation.  She took out a sanitary pad brand and gave it to him.

“Thank you so much...I really meant it”.

“Wait a minute, Mr...”

“Ajith. ...Ajith Sharma”

“Can you let me talk to your daughter over your phone?”

He hesitates.

“I think she needs some help. I guess there is no other elder female at home?”

“Yeah, ok one second”.

He had forgotten his phone at home, so he gave his residence number. Once the call connected he spoke to his daughter and then connected her with Janaki. He murmured a thank you and left.

Arti Sharma is just 11 year old and is dead scared about what is happening to her. Janaki calmed her down and instructed her about what she has to do. She also offered the kid her number and encouraged her to call if she has any more doubts or needs. Arti thanked her and Janaki felt good after talking to her.

The next day she got a call from Arti. She thanked Janaki profusely and even asked her some doubts hesitantly. Janaki patiently cleared all her doubts. Arti asked her out for an ice-cream treat; though Janaki politely refused Arti’s persistence finally made Janaki agree.  

So that Saturday they met up at the ice cream parlour. Ajith and Ayaan accompanied them. Arti and Janaki hit it off really well. Janaki gave some necessary advises and also engaged in casual banter. Meanwhile Ayaan bonded with Ajith who shares his same interests in sports. When the children finally went to get their ice creams, Ajith once again thanked her.

“ I know that you helping me  in the supermarket might be a small thing but even without asking you called up my daughter and helped her in that situation. I really cannot thank you enough”.

“It’s ok Mr. Sharma. It is not a big thing. But if you don’t mind I would like to say this. Arti is growing up and she might need some female around her to help her out”.

He smiled.

“You sound like my mother!”

Janaki smiled back at him.

“My mother always used to say the same thing. After Anju died, she was always behind me to get me married again citing the same reason. But somehow I could not”.

Janaki sighed.

“Till last year I didn’t have to worry because she was there for Arti”.

“Don’t worry. Arti have my number. I have told her she can contact me anytime for anything”.

He nodded. They remained silent for few minutes until Janaki felt like asking him something personal.

“How is it to live without Anju?”

Ajith is silent for a moment collecting his words.

“It was difficult, of course. We lost her quite unexpectedly. We both taught at the University. One day I was down with fever and she went to work alone. She drives well but a car that came breaking rules hit her scooter and....”

Janaki gave him time to collect his emotions.

“I couldn’t believe she has gone for many days. It seemed so surreal to me. But her absence in my life made it evident”. 

“How old was Arti?”

“Four”

Janaki winced.

The child is motherless from such a young age. She probably did not even remember her mother.

“Why didn’t you remarry?”

“Because I still love her”.

They shared a meaningful glance and none spoke after that. Kids joined them soon and the table filled with their talks and laughter.

Janaki felt it easy to connect with Ajith. He too found comfort in his conversations with Janaki. Slowly a friendship bloomed between them. They belonged to the same age group and similar life situations which helped them bond with time. Arti and Ayaan also jelled well helping their friendship to sustain.

                                ****************

A hilltop that offers an overview of Bangalore city at night

A car is parked a little far away from the edge of the hill. And on the car bonnet sits Jasmine and Viren having their dinner, some special dish of Bangalore city. They like exploring different cuisines whenever they can. Jasmine is shooting for a film in Bangalore and Viren is visiting her during his break from shoot in Mumbai.  They are chatting nineteen to dozen and licking their fingers finishing the dinner. That’s when Viren popped the question.

“Will you marry me Jasmine?”

Jasmine stills for a moment before laughing hard.

“Marry you? Are you crazy?!”

“I’m, about you”.

“How cute! Now stop this drama and let’s leave. It’s getting late”.

“Aww! So eager to sleep with me huh?!”

“As if you will have anything new to offer”.

“Oh believe me baby. You have a lot yet to see”.

He winked.

“Is that so?! Then why are we waiting?”

“Because you still haven’t given me a reply. When are you going to marry me?”

“Ok. I did not want this conversation tonight but if you are not letting it go, take it from me that we are not going to be married, never ever. I prefer a live-in, if you are up for it, then I’m in. Otherwise let’s end it here”.

They gazed at each other in silence. Finally Viren broke the spell dramatically.

“Thank God! I thought you might get convinced. What a nightmare it would have been; married to The Jasmine Elvis”.

He shuddered for effect.  Jasmine thinned her lips in annoyance. She started hitting and pulling his hair and he screamed for help. It continued for a while and when he felt she is not going to stop, he yanked her to him and kissed her. Their tongues carried forward the push and pull game. After a while Viren pulled back and they tried to catch breath. He tucked her loose hair tendrils behind her ear lovingly.

“For now, this is enough for me. But one day if you feel you need more, tell me. And if I need more, will you marry...”

Jasmine did not let him complete the sentence; she pulled him towards her and kissed him full on mouth again. They’ve found a base finally.

CHAPTER - 28

It is a Sunday. Janaki is sitting in the living room and going through some of her files when the door bell rang. Her maid informed her it is Pallavi.

“Pallavi? Come in” she ushered her into the living room politely.

“I….I just wanted to meet Ayaan”.

“Oh sure! He’s taking a nap but will be up in few minutes. If you don’t mind waiting….”

“No, it’s fine”.

They sat in silence unable to frame a conversation. Slowly Pallavi addressed her.

“I know….I has no right to ask this. And sorry if I’m intruding…..”

Janaki stared at her waiting for her question.

“Why did you decide on divorce? You guys crossed that bridge once”.

Janaki took a moment to answer. She is contemplating on the right words.

“Because I couldn’t fool myself about a better tomorrow……anymore”.

Pallavi didn’t miss her resigned expression.

“Didn’t you want to try for Ayaan’s sake?”

“I did. More than that, I wanted to do it for myself too. And I did try. But then after a point….I finally accepted the fact that we were never meant to be”.

Pallavi let her collect her thoughts.

“We had a choice - To keep pretending to ourselves everything is fine or for Ayaan to have his father and mother separately. If we chose the former, someday Ayaan will realize that he did not have a home but house and how we’re just his parents and not a family in its entirety. I know how it feels; Pranav knows. We were victims of it once. So I did not want my son to go through that. So we decided that we better walk separate ways and make Ayaan adjust to separate lives from beginning”.

“But even then the situation is same right. Ayaan still have to face the music”.

“Yes but it is better. If we continued as husband and wife we will have, or I will have expectations from Pranav. I will want a proper family for Ayaan. But Pranav might not rise up to that need the way I desire. Our relationship did have a strain from a long time”.

Janaki is not grieving, she’s just opening up and surprisingly she found it easy to do it with Pallavi.

“Maybe if we stayed together longer the fissures……I didn’t want to end up hating Pranav, making it difficult for my son too. Right now Ayaan has both his parents, though separately, but in an amicable relationship. Rest of it he has to face it, there is no choice since he is born to Pranav and me”.

Pallavi felt a deep respect for the woman before him.

“I’m sorry for doing this to you Janaki”.

“Don’t be Pallavi. I don’t blame you. I might have somewhere in the past, in my emotional vulnerability. But not now because it is not you, it is Pranav who wronged me. There were millions of girls out there who liked him, admired him. But if he had been faithful to me then he would have been mine forever. He loved a girl outside his marriage instead of working on the limitations in his marriage. You have nothing to be sorry for”.

Pallavi nodded tear eyed. Janaki has freed her from the guilt she’s been carrying all along.

“Oh I forgot. You’re here to meet Ayaan. We got carried away. It is time for him to be up, I’ll check”.

“No it’s ok. Let him come when he’s ready. I’ve no other plans for today”.

“Has Avni adjusted to Pranav?”

“I hope they will. More than Avni, I’m worried about Pranav”.

“Don’t be. No matter how bad a husband he is, he is a great father. I have seen it with Ayaan. Initially he could not adjust with Ayaan too”.

Pallavi smiled.

“I promise Ayaan will always have his father Janaki”.

Janaki smiled but said nothing.

“Will you ever find someone else for you?”

Janaki couldn’t help a laugh.

“I don’t know. I can’t find a replacement for Pranav right now in my life. I don’t know if I will ever be able to. Not that I did not try but honestly somewhere I don’t want to. I have Ayaan. That’s enough for me”.

“I felt the same too when I left Pranav years back. But Arjun changed my thoughts and feelings. Again when he disappeared from my life, I had decided not to walk down that lane ever. But now….I doesn’t know if I sound like a serial dater. But….sometimes letting life take you in different directions is worth it. Do not deny yourself a chance at happiness if it ever crosses you”.

Pallavi’s words did touch Janaki, she smiled and gave a nod.

“Will you be able to forgive Pranav ever?”

“I don’t know. It’s not like I’m burning with anger each moment, but then yes at times when you are alone you cannot stop cursing the person who is responsible for it. At least for venting out my pain and frustration I do hate Pranav at times. I have forgiven him but not fully yet. I will have to and I will. Because if I don’t, I will carry him in my heart forever and that will destroy me.  Ayaan is the only link left between us; I won’t deny him that but that is all I can give him now”.

“I understand”

Just then Pallavi noticed Ayaan on the stairs. He is giving her a strange look. She couldn’t decipher if it is hate or anger or pain or all of them. Janaki saw him.

“Ayaan…come down. We have guest. Pallavi is here to meet you”.

Ayaan looked from his mom to Pallavi. He slowly came down the stairs and stood before Pallavi. She greeted him and he obliged with a meek hello. Pallavi smiled and went on her knees to talk more but he moved away. He backed away slowly and then bolted out of the room. Janaki yelled after him but he did not turn back.

“I’m sorry Pallavi. He never behaves like that”.

“He has every right to behave like that with me Janaki. Cool down. I deserve It”.

“I’m sorry Pallavi”

“No don’t be Janaki. Maybe you’re right, Pranav wronged you more than me. But in Ayaan’s case, I have equally wronged him like his father. I’m getting an important place in his father’s life which actually should have belonged to his mother. He has a right to hate me. I won’t blame him. Don’t scold him”.

Lavanya sighed and held her hand.

“Ayaan will come for the wedding”.

“Don’t force him. He’s already dealing with a lot”.

“I won’t but he will come”.

Pallavi couldn’t help a smile and Janaki returned it.

We are bound together by the man we both love. And at the end I get to keep him and Janaki is losing him forever. Yet she is accepting her fate and even being good to me. Not all can do that! Pranav has lost a gem! What did he find in me to leave this woman behind! Maybe this is their fate. His, mine and Janaki’s!

         

                                                 **********

Ayaan is lying on his stomach. Janaki sighed watching him from the door. She mentally chided Pranav.

 He should have been here to console his son and make him see light. But alas, seems like I will have to do it alone. But then what can Pranav say? Can he tell his son to respect Pallavi, just like that? It would have reduced him in his son’s eyes. I will have to do this, not for Pranav, but for my son’s peace of mind.

She walked near the bed and sitting beside him brushed his hair slowly. Ayaan fisted his fingers and shut his eyes tightly.

“I’m not going to apologize for what happened”.

“You have to, because you insulted a person elder to you. That’s not what I taught you”.

“She is the reason why Dad left us”.

“It was his choice Ayaan, no one forced him. If he is not with us then he is to the one responsible for it, not anyone else”.

Ayaan opened his eyes at that and stared at his mother.

“Yes, If Dad is not with us, then it is his own choice. And maybe your Maa herself might have given him reasons to make that choice or not given him reasons to choose differently. So why blame Pallavi?”

“But you love him Maa. You would not have made Dad run away”.

Janaki smiled at his innocence.

“Ayaan, some things cannot be explained. Ok, at the surface level, maybe it would seem like Pranav left us just like that and broke my heart. But during the time when we were together, maybe I could not give him what he desired, just like he couldn’t give me what I desired as well. He found it in Pallavi so he decided to be with her. We were simply not meant to be together”.

“So like Dad found someone else, you will also find someone else in your life?”

Janaki laughed at that.

“You don’t have to worry over that Ayaan. Maa needs no one but my baby. But that’s not the point here. Whatever it is, Pallavi is elder to you and she is important to your father. So you should at least respect her. She is not that bad”.

Ayaan listened wordlessly.

“Sometimes some unpleasant things happen, because it is destined to happen. There is a good side to every bad thing that occurs. It is for us to find it out. Do you get me?”

Ayaan nodded and she took him in her lap.

“You should go for your father’s wedding”.

“I don’t want to go”.

“I won’t force you to go. It’s your choice. But I would like my son to not miss out on anything in his parents’ lives. Your father will be happy. More than that, it will reduce the insecurity you are having regarding losing your father. You should be part of his life, and then he will be a part of your life too. Do you understand?”

Ayaan nodded obediently.

“One more thing Maa wants to tell you”.

Ayaan looked up at her.

“Avni, Pallavi’s daughter is your sister now. If you can’t accept Pallavi, it’s fine. But you must accept the bond you have with Avni”.

“But how can she be my sister?”

“She is your sister Ayaan.  Just like you, she is innocent in all that is happening around her. Just because her mother is marrying your father, you cannot be distant or rude to her”.

“I can behave well with her, but I can’t accept her as my sister”.

“Siblings are a blessing Ayaan. When you have one, cherish her. A sibling means, a friend, someone who will listen to you, who will consider you as her idol, worship you as her hero. As a child, Maa always wanted a sibling. If I had one, I would not have been so lonely and there would have been someone to share my happiness, sorrow and even guide me at times or make me responsible for another life”.

Ayaan listened intently.

“She is on the same boat as you Ayaan. So don’t hate her and if possible try to love her. That’s all I have to say”.

She kissed him on the forehead and got up. Ayaan held her hand before she could leave.

“I love you Maa, you are the best”.

“I love you too dear”.

Ayaan realized that day how wonderful a woman his mother is. She covered up for his father but also made sure her son did not accuse another woman for their fate. Also she made sure her son did not hurt another innocent soul in all this. He wondered if Avni would be all that his mother has said.

                                        *******************

Pranav and Pallavi are getting married today on December 31stNight. As it is a private wedding, media got no byte despite trying their best. This is their private moment with their family.

Pranav is holding Ayaan’s hand in his while talking to Viren. Ayaan is feeling blank. He did not know what to feel.

Is it fair to his mother that he is here? But she herself sent me here; and Dad is happy to have him here.

Ayaan decided that it is better he doesn’t think about anything and stayed mute.

Just then door of bride’s room opened and Pallavi descended the stairs with her sister and Jasmine beside her and Laxmi following them with Avni in her arms. She is dressed in an off white sari with golden border paired with a golden blouse. Ornaments were minimal as well. She has light make up and her hair is tied up in a bun with the fringe adorning her forehead. Pallavi searched for Pranav’s eyes and meets his peaceful eyes.

When she reached the hall, Pranav came forward and asked for her hand. She held his hand and they both walked towards the pooja room. He is holding Ayaan in one hand and Pallavi held Avni in her other hand who had demanded to go to her mother. After taking blessings from God and elders they came to the living room where the marriage registrar waited for them. Everything got over in a blur. They signed the pages; Viren and Nisha did other formalities from both sides.

Pranav filled her maang with sindhoor and tied the mangalsutra. Flashes of Arjun and Janaki did arise in their minds. After all they had shared this special moment with them before. The marriage is complete. Everyone started congratulating them. Meanwhile Avni had noticed Ayaan as the only child in the crowd and moved near him.

“Hi, I’m Avni. You are?

Ayaan found it difficult to talk to her, yet he managed a response remembering his mother’s words.

“Ayaan Kashyap Malhotra”

“Ooooooh! So you are my brother?!”

Ayaan got stuck at that question. The wide eyed girl before him is looking at him with genuine delight. She is told by her mother that she now has a brother whose name is Ayaan. She is very thrilled about having a brother and now that she knows it’s him she did not waste a moment and held on to his arm even before Ayaan can respond.

“I’m so happy. I always wanted a brother. I’m always surrounded by old people you know and I can’t play with them. Nisha Aunty’s children are my sisters. But I wanted a brother always. Now I have you. You will stay with us?”

And just like that Ayaan felt him easing to the girl’s incessant but adorable chatter.

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Janaki huddled up in the living room after giving the maids leave for two days. She did not want to see their sympathetic faces or hear their comments on her life behind her back. The phone rang once again. She has been receiving calls from different channels and newspapers asking for her response to Pranav’s remarriage. She switched off her cell.

She spent the whole day with Ayaan trying to forget everything else. Pranav came to pick up Ayaan in the evening. Janaki did not wish to face him; hence she sent Ayaan down with the maid after advising him to behave well and kissed him. Pranav was also not sure how he is to face Janaki today. When he saw Ayaan coming down with the maid, he knew she did not wish to either.

Clock struck 12. It is New Year now and she can hear crackers outside.

People are celebrating the New Year with lots of hopes and happiness. Many will be wishing the next year to be the best for them. Some will be having a fresh start this year, in their careers or in their personal lives. Pranav and Pallavi are also starting a new life.

Heaviness descended upon her heart. But she willed herself not to cry. She did not want to wallow in self pity and end up feeling miserable.

I did have a life and I have Ayaan in it. He is the only one I can call my own and count on to never desolate me. But there is a discreet loneliness that nagged my heart sometimes.

I don’t have feelings for Pranav now. I can move on in life if I try. But what does move on mean to me? Is it waiting for happiness through a man or simply focusing my life on my career and son? These options can help me survive but will it give the happiness I desire?!

What plans does God have for me? I’m ready to wait for them! Though I had a disturbing childhood, it is also filled with happy moments with my father. I did have some nice moments with Pranav, there was a time when we loved each other; even though it all ended bitterly. In his absence I have Ayaan with me. Life is all about a mixed bag of good and bad experiences. Each experience is a leaves behind something valuable. I’ll have to wait and see what this phase of my life will offer me.

Loses are loses until you gain it back or gain something bigger than that! She has had her loss now, now it’s time for her to gain!!!

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Ayaan did feel his mother is in a dull mood all through the day but trying her best to hide it. He did not pester either, and played along just to make her happy. When he had to leave her behind to go for his father’s wedding, he felt sorry for her. He did feel angry at his dad, but when he saw his happiness he did not know what to feel. That day he realized right and wrong are two confusing concepts because remarrying is a ‘right’ decision for his father but a ‘wrong’ one too because it hurt his mother.

But will it have been ‘right’ if my father stayed back with Maa without loving her; would it have been ‘wrong’ to my father and Pallavi aunty then? Who is right and who is wrong, I don’t know. Maybe when I grow up I will understand why these adults are so confusing with their feelings.

He returned back home to his mother after the ceremony. He saw her huddled on the sofa asleep. Ayaan came near her and hugged her. Janaki woke up with a start.

“Ayaan, you are back!”

She took him on her lap and hugged him. She did not ask him the details of the wedding, nor did he say. They remained like that in an embrace for long before they went to sleep in their room.

“I Love you Maa. And I will always be with you”.

“Promise?”

“Yeah Forever”

Janaki smiled.

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Soon after dinner, everyone retired for the night. Avni fell asleep and Nisha took her home with Akash and Laxmi. Viren dropped Ayaan at Janaki’s house and hit Jasmine’s apartment.

Pallavi is feeling blank once they’re alone. Pranav saw her expression and came near her. He wordlessly hugged her and she hugged him back. They did not speak anything but remained hugging. They have a lot of memories behind them, some sweet, some bitter. They thought about their past lives, Janaki, Arjun, Ayaan and Avni.

Life is not easy, it will never be. But this time we are together to face everything. That’s enough for now.