CHAPTER - 21

Pallavi did all the rituals mechanically. But all through the ceremony she felt Arjun’s compassion. She felt it in the way he held her hands for the pheras, the way he smiled at her after making her wear the mangalsutra and the solemn look in his eyes after he filled her maang and he saw her eyes getting moist. He had held her trembling fingers in his hand then and never left it till her bidaai.

After moving to London, it took her time to be his wife in the truest sense. But Arjun showed unconditional patience with her; as promised, he was a good friend to her. In the following years Pallavi slowly settled down with Arjun. The new environment, different lifestyle gave her the much needed respite. Time healed her wounds to an extent and she simply went with the flow with respect to her marriage.

Pallavi was never really interested in anything else than acting. Though Arjun tried to encourage her she never took up a different profession. In the meantime Arjun went through some difficulties in his career and decided to switch to business. Pallavi invested her hard earned money from film world in his event management company.  

They had their share of ups and downs in marital life and didn’t exactly have a dream run. But slowly Pallavi did start feeling for Arjun, in a way she didn’t expect and in a way Arjun always expected. Slowly and steadily their relationship took a shape. It was not an easy road, but they made it.

                                               **************

Ayaan Janaki Malhotra marks his birth date as 1^st February, 2018. After a long time, Pranav and Janaki experienced true bliss in their lives with his birth. They effortlessly fell into the patterns of parenthood. They withdrew divorce petition mutually and decided to focus on their son and enjoy the joys of parenthood for now.

                                                 *************

A year later, Pallavi got pregnant. Since she is asked not to travel, her mother came and stayed with them to take care of her. Her in-laws still despised her though Arjun maintained contact with them. She delivered a baby girl on 10^th July 2019 and named her as Avni Saxena. But a tragedy awaited them in India.

Heavy flood hit their hometown washing away their home and everything they earned over time. Veer Nanda suffered another attack seeing the destruction and passed away. It took them some time to cope with the tragedy. Her mother shifted base with Pallavi and family since her elder daughter couldn’t take up her responsibility. The arrival of new born helped all of them move on with time.

                                                   **********

2021

Life never remains the same. Pallavi’s happily-ever-after found an abrupt end when Arjun died in a car accident leaving behind their two year old daughter. Once again her life went through a rollercoaster. Her in-laws washed their hands off her and Avni completely, when they came to know Arjun’s business is in loss and they’ll become a liability to them. His parents lived with their other son and had to abide by his decision.

 Pallavi sold majority of her remaining assets to settle the debts. She never really took interest in working, since cinema is her only passion; but she had to take up Arjun’s event management company’s responsibility. But her inexperience ultimately took her to a road end. She had no other choice but to wrap up their life abroad and return to Mumbai since that was the only property left in India to their claim.

The financial crunch put her in a spot, to find work. But she knew her lack of degree and inexperience in other lines of work will not get her a good job. Jasmine came to her help though; but a help which Pallavi is not sure if she should accept.

                                                ************

 Initially it was difficult with inquiries about my husband’s death and widowhood from seemingly ‘sympathetic’ relatives and acquaintances. But I had Avni; she is the silver lining of my life; the only reason why I am alive. I always wanted to be a mother and was eager for a daughter. I’m glad with my life in that sense.

But now I’m her only parent. Never did I think money will be an issue in my life, since I earned a lot for myself. But that’s how strange fate is. We have enough to survive; but then I do need a job to keep myself going, to be an inspiration to my daughter and for a more secure future for her sake. Life is momentary, who better than me know that.  One can take love, affection, care, concern from someone else but not money; Arjun taught me this. He always used to say we should be independent for our expense.

Jas has been trying to convince me to come back to my career. Yes, she’s right, that’s my world; something that can charge me with life again. But the way I had to leave, I’m not sure if I have the courage to take it up, again. But she’s persistent and it’s not like I have an alternate plan as of now.

My life with Arjun gave me every bit of happiness. The only thing I missed was the drive, ambition, adrenaline rush I feel when I’m in front of camera. Now Jas is giving me a road back to it. Should I…..?

                                         *************

2022

Pallavi Nanda once again faced camera. She’s shooting for Mohan Karta’s directorial debut. Jasmine has used her clout within industry to land her this project. She’s doing camera for the film too. But things were not really smooth. Producer Ravi Kapadia was not keen on casting Pallavi since her come back is a gamble. But since the character needed a supreme talented actress, with Jasmine’s persuasions he gave in.

Shooting started with Pallavi and Nikhil as leading pair. Though Nikhil was a good co-star and friend in the past, she found his behavior on this set bit odd. It became clear when he openly asked her out. He wanted more than friendship with her though he’s today a married man. His indecent proposal did put her off, especially since he had been a friend once. She denied him in a polite and firm manner. That gave rise to next problem for her.

Nikhil threatened to walk out of the film, if Pallavi is not removed from it. Jasmine tried to handle the situation but Nikhil stood his ground. Pallavi didn’t want to get a whole unit suffer because of her, so she gracefully opted out of the film.

Shyam Nadir is also pulling strings to ensure Pallavi find it difficult to make a comeback, unless through him. But she didn’t want to compromise. Jasmine tried her best to support her but she couldn’t get through with the likes of Shyam and Nikhil working as a road block. That is when she got a visit from Viren Sinha.

                                                     *******

“What brings you here Mr.Sinha?”

“It’s Viren for you”

He winked at her with his boyish grin and she rolled her eyes not wanting to deal with him. She had her plate full.  

“Listen, if you have any good enough reason for coming here, then spill it. I don’t have time for your flirting”.

“Point noted. But do let me know when you have time for my flirting”.

Before she can jump on him, he revealed the reason for his visit. He handed out a file to her.

“This is the reason I’m here”.

She threw him a suspicious look and took the file and went through some pages.

“This is Suraj sir’s last script which he wanted to do with Pranav and Pallavi. Before he passed away, he had given me this script as I was his favourite disciple you know”.

His smile turned serious soon enough.

“He was sure one day Pallavi will be back to films, since she’s born for this. And then he wanted her to do this film…with Pranav”.

“Are you kidding me? Do you know how much I had to persuade her for Karta’s offer? And you think she’ll agree to act with Pranav?”

“And that is precisely why I’m at your doorstep Jasmine. I want to help Pallavi and I also want to fulfill my guru’s wish. Help me”.

“Pranav send you, right?”

“Whatever I said until now is true, but yes he is also a reason why I’m here to meet you”.

“What does he want now? Please ask him to be satisfied with his wife. He’s done enough damage already”.

“Hmm Jasmine, I’m not here to fight. Pranav just want to help. Shyam and Nikhil are making sure Pallavi doesn’t get a second innings and you know that. If she has to start again, countering their efforts, she needs a strong back up like Pranav. He is the only one who can help her right now”.

She kept looking sternly into his eyes.

“You know the state of my production house after Dad’s death. I can only direct this project for them. Pranav can financially back this project indirectly via my production house. This subject and Pranav-Pallavi coming back together will give Pallavi the sure shot return she needs. No Shyam can stop her after this. You know that”.

“It’s not that easy Viren. Pallavi….she is a different person today. I don’t know if she’ll agree to this”.

“She doesn’t have many options either right?”

“Will Mrs. Malhotra be okay with it?”

“Pranav has promised his commitment”.

“I hope he doesn’t have ulterior motives behind this ‘help’. I don’t want my friend to go through another circus. This project alone is one; I don’t want her to carry extra baggage with it, that is if she agreed to do it”.

“I’ve had this conversation with him already Jasmine. And if I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t have gone ahead with this. Pallavi is my friend too”.

“But Pallavi…”

“We will tell her this was Suraj sir’s last wish that both of them do this project. And you and I will be associated with this film. So she can trust on us to handle it all sensitively”.

Jasmine is zooming through the pros and cons of this move while Viren checked out the interiors of her office.

CHAPTER - 20

Janaki was not ready to meet Pranav when he came to her house. For the first time she felt an indifference to him that she never thought she was capable of, for him.

“Why are you here?”

“I’m withdrawing the divorce petition; that is if you still want this marriage for our child’s sake of course”.

She let his words sink in.

“Pallavi?”

“She left”

Janaki is not shocked at Pallavi’s decision but couldn’t help the surprise that he let it happen. She knew given a chance, Pranav would’ve preferred having both Pallavi and his child in his life.

“For our child”

That statement affected Janaki.

I somewhere knew Pallavi won’t accept Pranav after knowing about the kid. But the way he said it is enough for me to realize Pallavi left him FOR our child and not BECAUSE of our child. Also it seemed like he’s here today for the same reason. And he encapsulated all of it in that one phrase.

 She didn’t know how to feel about that information.

“Her career?”

“I don’t think you have to worry about her anymore”.

“You are okay with it?”

“This will be the last time we discuss her, if you don’t mind”.

“It’s not that easy you know”.

“I know. So let’s not make it tougher as well”.

She didn’t feel like responding to that.

“As I said, from now on divorce happening or not will be your choice entirely. But whatever our decision, I hope we agree on being parents to our kid without arguments”.

“Stop right there Pranav. Just because I’m listening doesn’t mean I agree to everything you say. This child, that you are terming now as ‘our child’ was a mere responsibility for you some nights back, a stumbling block in your life. And now just because you don’t have your lover by your side, you don’t need to come back to me and MY child. Stay out of our lives. We’re good without you”.

He nodded.

“I know I deserve this. But Janaki, I’m not doing this for myself but for the baby. I know my words have hurt you and I’m sorry for it. I know it is never going to be enough so let me make it right by my actions in future. Even if we continue as a couple or not, or if I had someone else in my life I had made my mind to give the baby everything  I wanted to get from my parents and that still stands the same”.

That soothed her nerves to an extent. She is at least glad to know he is finally feeling for their child. She knows that she is perfectly capable of raising her child, but a child need both its parents for a better life.

“So what do you want me to do?”

“You can decide. You can divorce me if you want. But let me near my child. I want to be his/her father in true sense. Please don’t deny that”.

“And what makes you think I will agree?”

He sighed.

“I know you will. After all we both won’t want our child to experience a repeat of our childhood. Am I wrong?”

“Pranav, are you serious about this? Or is it because Pallavi..”

“I’m serious Janaki. If you’re sceptical, you can take your time to decide”.

“That seems right. I don’t want to rush into any decision as of now. Let’s wait till the baby is born to decide our future with it”.

He agreed to that.

                                                          *********

From the time she’s back to her hometown, Pallavi becomes a witness to the taunts and gossips her family is being subjected to, on her behalf. She was not hurt by the taunts, but seeing her parents getting hurt affected her badly. She also saw how her one decision has affected her sister’s married life. She is suffering at her in-laws place.

Her father stopped talking to her since she denied getting married. Her mother blamed her and almost forced her for marriage while her father remained a silent spectator to it. But she just couldn’t get into a relationship at that point; she was too scarred for that. She failed to make them understand that; on the other hand, Veer and Laxmi had sleepless nights thinking about their daughter’s future.

                                                    ********

Janaki stood firm in her decision of staying at her home. So Pranav made sure to visit her and spend time with her as instructed by their family Doctor Sheila. Janaki had some complications and needed to be taken care of constantly. He dealt with her volatile hormones, mood swings and cravings like a dutiful father-to-be. This brought them close, not as a husband and wife; but they realized they could work as a team for their child’s sake.  

Janaki is not soft with him, yet she is rarely rude with him. Similarly Pranav is not too close to her, yet isn’t emotionally aloof like in the past. They developed an equation of ease which helped them get over the awkwardness of this second chance at life.

Janaki knew Pranav is dealing with his own emotions but she ignored it. He has to find his way out on own, she concluded. Just like she and Pallavi are doing it.

                                                                              ********

Jasmine has come to visit Pallavi at her home and is trying to persuade her back to work.   

“Just because you lost some opportunities, why are you giving up? You should fight for your right Pallavi”.

“I’m in a different mind state now Jasmine. I don’t want to fight, for anything anymore. Also my parents don’t want me to pursue my career. So be it. I can’t give them anything else than this.

“But no one is gaining from this Pallavi”

She just smiled.

“I wish I could smack that Malhotra”.

“I think you should start with me”.

“I know. That’s why I always said keep away from love business. It can only ruin”.

Just then Pallavi received a call from her sister.

“Pallavi we are going to hospital with Papa. I think he’s got a heart attack”

“Oh my God, what happened?”

Nisha moved a little away from her crying mother and whispered into the phone.

“Mrs. Kapadia insulted Papa, for...he couldn’t handle it and had an attack. Come to Care hospital fast”.

Pallavi gulped down her tears.

This is all because of me.

Jasmine accompanied her to the hospital. She rushed inside and enquired about her father. Seeing her people again began to whisper around, but Pallavi hardly cared. She ran to ICCU and saw her mother and sister there.

“Amma….”

Seeing her Laxmi lashed out.

“Are you happy now? Are you feeling contended seeing your father like this. You know he’s a heart patient right? This is his second attack. I think you will only be satisfied taking his life”.

Nisha tried to stop her, but Laxmi is enraged beyond limit. Jasmine held a shocked Pallavi’s elbow to give her support.  

“What wrong did we do in bringing you girls up? Didn’t we provide everything? Didn’t your father give you both the freedom you two needed? I was strictly against you entering such a disgusting field. But it was your father who supported your wish. And this is what you give him back? You cut our nose before society. Look at this girl (holding Nisha) she lived her entire life like a good daughter should. She is a good wife, good mother and a good daughter-in-law, yet she has to suffer at her home because of you, your sin. Couldn’t you think of the destruction you would bring upon your family before doing all this? How could you fail me like this?”

Laxmi broke into tears and couldn’t handle the pressure.

“Amma…”

“Don’t you dare call me your amma. I’m not your amma. Right now because of you my husband is lying inside fighting for his life. You are only bothered for your own needs. You are so selfish that you can’t see how hurt your parents are. If you had agreed for that proposal we brought for you, then that Sharmila wouldn’t have got a chance to taunt your father which caused his attack. Because of you, we are all suffering. Because of your one mistake, your whole family is paying. Don’t give us peace; remain as a burden to us always!”

Pallavi felt like she is slapped, by her mother. Not able to take anymore and not wanting to create a scene, she moved to a corner of the corridor and waited there. Jasmine went with her while Nisha tried to control Laxmi who was crying bitterly.

                                                       *********

After some hours

Her father is better now. He’s still in the ICCU, while they’ve taken a room for the night. Pallavi walked into the room on Nisha’s insistence to have dinner. Seeing her Laxmi got up and started to arrange food onto a plastic plate for her. She stared at her mother who is trying to hide her emotions and behave like nothing happened.

“Your dinner is there. I’m going to freshen up”.

When Laxmi is about to pass her Pallavi held her hand.

“I’m sorry Amma”

Laxmi wanted to hold her in arms and console her for her harsh words.

But I won’t, until Pallavi agree for marriage, I’ll have to continue this way. Otherwise my daughter’s future will be spoiled. Only by anger I can make my child find happiness.

“Pallavi, I don’t want to talk now…you have food and..”

“I’m ready to get married Amma”

Laxmi’s eyes became moist. Yet she said in an indifferent voice.

“You don’t have to do anything for us”.

“I will amma. I will do this for you”.

“You must do it for yourself. Marriage is not children’s play. Just to satisfy us, you needn’t get married. Being single is better than that”.

Pallavi looked down at their entwined hands.

“I’m damaged from within Amma; a lot more than I can show. Yes it is my fault. But I loved him Amma, I still love him. I don’t know if I can stop feeling for him. I wouldn’t have loved him if it was in my power. I tried Amma, I tried my best, to avoid all this. I couldn’t. No one will understand my spot. All can pinpoint me saying I’m selfish. But can loving somebody be selfish Amma…….maybe yes, I’m selfish……..but we never wanted to destroy our lives; we didn’t do it to hurt others. We just tried for our happiness Amma; but failed. We couldn’t gain happiness at the cost of a child’s future. So I had to let him go. I won’t get the happiness I’m looking for ever again. But it’s ok; if I can provide some happiness for you guys then I am ready to marry anyone you chose. I am ready Amma”.

Laxmi couldn’t hold her tears; she hugged her daughter fiercely. Both cried in each other’s arms.

“It’s ok baby. It’s not necessary we always get what we want. Sometimes some things which happen to us will be not what we wished; but it will be the best for you. You will get your share of happiness for sure. I will make sure of it. Trust your Amma on this”.

Pallavi just cried in her arms. Laxmi knew she is moving her daughter’s life into a new direction. She prayed for her daughter’s happiness.

Pallavi’s mind replayed Pranav’s face. She closed her eyes tightly.

                                                **********

Arjun Saxena was Pallavi’s childhood friend. They were distant relatives and bonded with each other at family functions over the years. He always loved Pallavi. Her passion for films did put his thoughts on hold. He was not sure if he can handle her profession and all that it entails. Even if he did, he was not sure about his parents. So years passed by and he moved on to other relationships.

But the moment he got to know she’s in trouble, he realized his feelings for her never really underwent a change. Against the opposition from his family, he proposed for her hand to Veer Nanda. He is a well educated, well behaved, abroad settled guy from their community, and Veer saw no reason to deny him. But Pallavi did take her time to even consider him.

Today he sat before her for a much needed talk.

“Arjun, we know each other from long. I don’t want to keep you in dark. I’m agreeing for this marriage for my parents. I’m really not ready for any commitment or relationship now. So you are free to walk out if you’re looking for that”.

Arjun smiled.

“What I’m looking for, is before me Pallavi”.

She looked at him with astonished eyes.

“I don’t want to keep you in the dark too. I have feelings for you Pallavi. I always had, but never had the courage to act on it. If I don’t do it even now, then it’s pointless”.

Pallavi averted her eyes when he looked at her intensely.

“But you don’t have to worry. I know right now what you need is a friend. I’m here as that old friend of yours. I’m ready to give you as much time as you need to accept me, to accept this relationship”.

Pallavi didn’t have a response t that.

“Give it time Pallavi, what’s bothering you today won’t matter later. And what you are running away from today will be what you need in future”.

She nodded slowly.

“I hope it is so”.

                                                **********

Viren was at outdoor shooting in Australia for last few months and has just come back. He was in touch with Pranav and supported him in all his decisions. Pallavi has informed him of her impending marriage. He passed the news to Pranav. He didn’t react to the news but when her marriage photos flooded the internet; he stared at her bridal look with empty eyes.

Viren knew both of his friends are hurting. He just hoped this is for their best. Pranav and Pallavi’s life has separated in a way that it is difficult to bring it to a common point again. Maybe it is not destined……..

CHAPTER - 19

Pallavi is now removed from Bharka’s film too. She got an official confirmation of the same through news channels. Her parents have zeroed in on her childhood friend Arjun Saxena as her prospective groom and are pressurizing her for the match. But her current tension is not the downward graph of her career or her parents or Arjun, but Pranav.

He is not coming to meet me and during calls and messages he seems disoriented but refuses to admit the same. Something has happened and he’s hiding it from me.

When it continued for a week, she decided to meet him directly and find out the reason for his weird behaviour. But when she finally made it to his home, she was unprepared to see a messed up Pranav. He is clearly drunk but still in senses; but didn’t give her any proper answers.

“That’s enough now. Tell me what’s bothering you right away. I want to know why you have been avoiding me. And if you’re not going to give me a straight answer then you won’t hear any more questions from me King”.

 He knew her enough to know she’s stubborn to stick to her words. He has prolonged this moment long enough. He knew he had to come clean before she gets to know from someone else.

“Janaki is...pregnant”.

Pallavi didn’t know how to react to what she just heard.       She kept looking at him in shock.

“The IVF treatment......got a positive result finally”.

He moved his gaze away from her unable to look into her eyes. They sat in silence; one unable to take in what she heard and the other unable to take in what’s going to happen next.

“King....”

“She wants to keep the baby; divorce decision is left to my choice”.

Pallavi felt suffocated.

“I haven’t made a final decision yet Pallavi. Just relax”.

“What do you mean?”

“Means I’m perfectly capable of taking a decision which will benefit all of us. I’ll surely take up my child’s responsibility but I don’t have to lose you”.

They both stared in each other’s eyes for some minutes.

“Is it so? Then why were you avoiding me? Why are you still looking torn?”

He averted his eyes once again. And in that moment she knew; she knew he is torn between his child and her. He is wordlessly giving away the duty of making a decision to her. On one hand, he’s selfish, not making a choice on own and burdening her with it; but he’s also giving her the chance to hold on to her remaining self respect, by walking out on him.

“I’m going to Shimla tomorrow”.

His attention is immediately on her.

“Papa and Amma are worried. I can’t push their concerns for long. Its better I go there and face them. Otherwise they’ll bring themselves here. I don’t want to trouble them more”.

He looked down unable to ignore what she’s trying to tell him.

“Don’t go....”

“I have to”

“Is it that easy?”

“YOU are asking me that?”

“We can work something out. Give me some time”.

She didn’t reply for a long while.

“It is no more about you and me. Till now, no matter what my parents said, what society called me, I never thought of this. But from this point on if we go ahead, then it will be the worst mistake of our lives. There has to be a limit to selfishness too”, her eyes moistened.

He looked away.

“A child needs both parents. I needn’t tell you this. You and Janaki are victims of broken marriages. Do you want your son or daughter to go through the same thing?”

“That’s the only thing stopping me Pallavi. I’m not able to choose myself over my child. I don’t want to be like my parents”.

She nodded gulping down her pain.

“I know......Whenever I felt guilty about Janaki, I used to console myself with the fact that she’ll someday find someone for herself. But this child....will not get the love of a father from anyone but you. It’s your duty....to give him that ...I....I know”.

She didn’t resist the tears this time.

“What about you Pallavi?”

She gave a sarcastic smile amidst the tears.

“I entered this relationship with my eyes open; so half of the blame is mine. So don’t worry about me. Give Janaki and yourself a chance again. Ask her what she wants and try sincerely for the sake of the kid”.

They sat numb in each other’s company.

“Bye”

He reached her in no time and kissed her; she responded too. They kissed each other with desperation and all their emotions came through in that kiss – anger, pain, guilt, regret.

She broke the kiss and walked out of his house as fast as she can while he stood lifeless in his hall.

This is our The End.

Next dawn, Pallavi started in her car for the airport. Unknown to her Pranav’s car followed her till the airport. He saw the driver dropping her at the gates and her walking in, papparazi covering her from sides. He saw her for one last time.

5 years ago on such a dawn, he had met Pallavi in cemetery. And on today’s dawn, he saw her going away, just like she had entered his life.

NOTE + Hints

Dear friends,

This note is to give you an idea about my mindset regarding the story.

1.       First of all, I neither support nor am I against extra-marital affairs. That is not the purpose of this story. My opinion is that, these are personal matters. We don’t know why a man or woman in a marriage is going out in search of love or whatever! That is their personal issue. We can’t judge them because we don’t know how their life is. You can’t say this is right or this is wrong.

2.       Only when you are in the position of Lavanya or Kushi, you can fully understand them. But even then, when we are part of such an affair or when our spouse is part of it, we won’t be clear of what is right and wrong. It is complicated.

3.       When I am writing this story, I put myself in Kushi’s and Lavanya’s shoes and write. What will I feel if I fall in love with a Lavanya’s Arnav? What will I feel if my Arnav is in love with some Kushi? What will I do? Trust me; it is not easy to stand in both shoes.

4.      

If you have noticed, in most stories regarding this theme, only one side will be concentrated; that is either the female protagonist will be the wife character or the other woman. Initially, I was planning to keep Lavanya a closed character too. But then I changed that decision because I wanted a different approach. For me this story is a quest to understand some innate nature of relationships and family values.

5.      

My initial and sole purpose of this story was to speak for the ‘other woman’ in this triangle equation. Often the men fall for another woman and later they regret and go back to their wives for their children or out of guilt. Who is left behind with nothing is the other girl! And the society will make her life hell. Some of you might say, she deserves it. Yes, but doesn’t that male too deserve it? In fact more? In my view, no wife will be hurt if another woman is after her husband. It hurts her when her husband strays. So why is the husband, who did a more sin is left scot free? So, my aim is to talk for that woman. If I can change at least one of your perspectives’ regarding such a woman, I have attained my goal.

6.       Some of you had often asked me for a monologue of Arnav. Let me make this clear, I am not sure if I will ever post a monologue of his. It is because; I don’t know how a man thinks. I am a woman and I can only put myself in the shoes of another woman, not a man. If I give his monologue, it will be artificial. I don’t want that. I’m trying my best to bring originality into this work. So you will know and understand Arnav through his actions, as a third person can see. His inner thoughts will be a mystery, always!

7.       I am happy that some of you are feeling very intensely for Lavanya. Since this is an Arshi story, I was afraid if people will ever realise what Lavanya goes through!

8.       And sometimes it is a fact that people don’t find happiness in their marriage. Either the marriage would be arranged and the couple doesn’t find love in each other or they loved before marriage but after marriage they understand they can’t stay together and many such reasons. I love the question Rani asks initially to Sharukh in the beginning of KANK – “What if I get my true love after marriage????” Have you thought of it? What if in later life you don’t find happiness in your marriage, you adjust to it. But what if you FIND real love elsewhere? Not that always such affairs will be true; there can be cheats and people who take advantage of the situation too. But at times, like Maya and Dev some find another person out of marriage with whom they find solace! I don’t know if it is not right or wrong. But the least I could do is not ‘judge’.

9.       And lastly, some of you say La is wrong to cling on, some say Kushi is wrong to break a woman’s marriage to gain her love. Both are right in a way. But for me, some asked my opinion personally, so, for me Arnav is wrong and right, Kushi is wrong and rightand Lavanya is wrong and right. Y?

10.   Arnav is wrong because, deal or not he is in a bond and is responsible for this whole chaos in three lives. Kushi is wrong because she know there might not be a future for this affair but still went ahead for temporary happiness. La because she didn’t work on her marriage early. Instead of giving him space, she should have tried to concretize the foundation of her marriage. But you can’t blame any of them too.

Arnav, as said above, found true love in Kushi not in Lavanya. He didn’t feel the way he feels for Kushi for La. He didn’t try to cheat La by having an affair or disrespect Kushi by asking her to be his mistress or to keep this relationship hidden. He took the correct steps of informing La, arranging for divorce, standing up for Kushi and facing everything together though he is questioned less! Kushi tried her best to resist her urges and desire for this man. She even went to the point of hurting him and herself. She denied herself even the friendship she had with him. She tried her best to move away but her love finally caught up with her making her selfish to live at least for a day with her love. La too had no one to teach her the basics of a relationship or how to work on it when she fell in love with Arnav. Seeing her parents’ example she thought she might not push him but wait! So each one of them are right and wrong. But that is how every deed of human beings is. A deed loved by some people will be hated by another. That is part and parcel of the world!

So that is all I have to say. I know all of you are waiting for updates. I hope this weekend I will be able to update both. Not sure, but as pooja holidays are there, I hope I will post at least one for sure.

CHAPTER – 18

                                          

Pranav got to know Janaki is back in town. He decided to meet her and prepare her for the media glare around their divorce. He reached her home and headed for the open door eyeing another car inside the premise.

“How many times I have to advise you to not take stress? It is not good for your condition. But you never listen”.

Janaki had a low BP but luckily her maid saw her fainting and rang for Sheila, their family doctor, who was scolding her for her carelessness. This is the sight that greeted Pranav.

“What’s going on here?”

 He acknowledged Sheila with a nod, and strode towards Janaki.

“Janaki, what happened?”

Janaki stared straight into his eyes.

“Nothing Dev, just low BP; it’s very normal during pregnancy I guess”.

Her casual statement hit Pranav like a whiplash. It was unprecedented on many levels for him that he could not bring himself to react in any manner. But maybe due to her mood swings, suddenly Janaki felt really comfortable and cool in conducting this conversation. Her ire got the better of her. A blind fury is propelling within her to burst it all out on him. Mindful of the tension, Sheila took leave of them. Maids also retreated to their quarters offering them the much needed privacy to hold this unavoidable discussion.

“I think you should just speak up Pranav. I know you are not happy with this news, but we can hardly deny this. What do you want me to do?”

He closed his eyes unable to react to this sudden change in his life. Janaki’s sarcastic question pulled him out of his stupor.

“Do you want me to abort our child?”

“SHUT UP Janaki! I never said anything like that”.

Janaki nodded mockingly.

“Okay, one question down. So now what are you going to do about this? You are in LOVE with someone else. But unfortunately I am carrying your child. Now what? Whom are you going to choose? How are you going to solve this problem?”

No matter how much I love this man, I’m feeling really good when I can hurt him like this. I know he is hurting but I can’t care less. He doesn’t want me to abort the child. Then what does he want from me now, from Pallavi?

 It is like she is getting some kind of a pleasure by being sarcastic of his plight. Her hormones are driving her to be cold so that it can save her mind from the hurt that is to follow.

“I need time to think on this. But I want to know something”.

She signed him to go ahead.

“Do you want this child?”

She looked at him with wide eyes. Sensing her anger, he rephrased his words.

“No Janaki, I do not mean what you are assuming. It’s just that, you know the timing. Right now we are on the verge of parting our ways. This situation is my mistake. I just want to know if you are really keen on having this baby. I don’t want to add any liability to your life”.

“My child is NOT a liability for me Pranav. But I’m not sure about your thoughts on the same”.

“Right now I’m confused....I don’t want to give a rushed answer. It’s just that....everything was going good. But this baby now, changes a lot of things. I just don’t know”.

A giggle left her lips. Slowly she started laughing like possessed.

“Can people be so selfish? I know you don’t love me, yet I’m swallowing my self-respect and literally trying for a second chance for our child’s future. But you....how can you still think only about your happiness, even now?”

He had no reply.

“You know what, though my mind told me that you might not need this child, I never for once thought you will consider your happiness before your own child. I thought….I thought you will at least think for your child’s future. But all you can bother about is your happiness, your life! You don’t even care for your own child before you needs; how SICK!”

“SHUT UP. You’re going overboard Janaki. I know, my reaction is not ideal, but neither did I ask you to abort the child’s existence for my happiness”.

“It doesn’t make you noble Pranav. I can see it in your stance; you’re still trying to accommodate your happiness along with this. You’re searching for solutions so that you don’t have to lose anything but also take up this responsibility. You’re not willing to compromise Pallavi, even for your child”.

“Oh so this is it. Now we are talking. How are you different then Janaki? You’re also using your child for YOUR happiness”.

Furious tears filled her eyes.

“What? Can’t hear the truth now? All this being extra, is not for the unborn child, but for you. This is your last chance at a life with me and you’re simply trying to grab it. But I won’t blame you Janaki. Because when it comes to one’s own happiness, all are selfish. I won’t judge you. But it’s my choice who I want to choose”.

She is stung by his words. She doesn’t know if it is the truth in his words or anger at him for his selfishness or her jealousy, but she blurted out.

“Are you sure you still have the right to make a choice here Pranav? Will your lover still need you when she comes to know you’ve fathered a child with me?”

She finished with a smug vengeance. His face went pale.  

“Let’s see if she is also as selfish like us and if her parents let her be so, that she decides to spoil a child’s future. Let’s see what the mighty Pranav Malhotra does if she denies for his wedding bells”, she finished with a mocking expression.

Pranav had nothing to say.